Taco Posted December 13, 2008 Share Posted December 13, 2008 I stole this from another site but I think its kinda appropriate around here Doin' the B.I.G. W.A.D If you are a married fly fisherman there is an aspect of the hobby that isn't often mentioned in mixed company. It is spoken about in whispers if wives are close by and its mere mention while women are present can widen eyes, raise eyebrows and instantly force a change of subject. This side activity of fly-fishing is called, Doin' the B.I.G. W.A.D., which stands for:Bringing In Goodies While Avoiding Detection. In this day when more couples are fishing together; the challenge of smuggling in a newly acquired rod or reel while the wife is in the shower or is visiting her mother has become a lost art; especially the clandestine capers when longer two piece rods are involved. It is for this reason that the BIG WAD Olympiad Challenge was created. I'm not trying to brag but I won the 2004 Gold Medal in rod smuggling by acquiring in excess of 12 new rods without the wife's knowledge. I also won the 2007 Gold Medal for reels. I am presently in the running for the 2008 Gold Medal in the Fiberglass Rod division. For that reason I can offer you several champions' tips to help you out: Rod Ownership Tip - NEVER buy a rod rack! It makes it too easy to count. I use a rod bag and stash my tubes inside. When I go fishing all she ever sees is me carrying out the rod bag. Also consider tube socks or covers to hide differences in tube types, rod brands, models or colors. Mail Ordering Tips - have your stuff shipped to work or get a friend to receive the contraband for you. Unfortunately; telling her that the rod tube just delivered by UPS sitting on the front step; "is your old rod that you sent out for repair"; only works once every three years...if you're clumsy. How to Acquire New Rods - IF you are in the market for new carpeting; buy a new rod or three and take them to the carpet store and have the carpet guy them stash them inside of the cardboard tube. When they deliver the new carpet; your wife will be so excited she'll never notice you smuggling the new rods out of the carpet tube and into the safety and security of the basement. If you carpet the whole house; you can completely re-outfit yourself with all new rods! Spey and surf rods are generally reserved for living room carpets. Desperate New Rod Acquisition Measures - while this may be considered drastic; if you live near the ocean; become a pirate and get a peg leg. Having a peg leg makes it VERY easy to smuggle in 4 or 5 piece rods; not to mention parrot feathers. Warranty Cards - if you buy tackle with a warranty that requires mailing in a card; make sure you DON'T leave it lying around with the rest of the outgoing mail or worse yet; give it to her to mail. Likewise IF the manufacturer mails confirmation back; MAKE sure to ask them to send it to your work address. One rod company almost ended my marriage by mailing back 3 warranty confirmations on the same day! How to Acquire New Reels - they all look the same to the uninitiated as long as they are the same color. Stick with the same brand and color reels and have your significant other buy you one as a gift. Then; when she sees the Evolution 0, 1, or 1.5 that you bought for yourself; you can tell her it's the Evolution 2 she bought for you. BTW; this also works for rods. How to Acquire Grade 1 Hackle Capes I - tell her most fly tying stuff like thread, hooks, beads, chenille, etc is cheap; "yea honey; this junk is like, $2.00 a spool, or a buck a bag". Then when you order a few necks at $80 a pop; tell her you ordered thread and beads. How to Acquire Grade 1 Hackle Capes II - likewise make sure to let her know that you ALWAYS need LOTS of feathers for fly tying. Buy a pack of biot quills for $2.00 and while showing them to her say, "yup, always need lot of feathers like these". Then when you order three Whiting Gold capes; tell her you ordered feathers. How to Acquire Fly Tying Tools - tell her you haven't been feeling well when she sees the Dr. Slickcatalog on your desk. Then tell her you may order some vitamins from the catalog and instead order all new scissors and hemostats. How to Buy Hooks - buy fancy premium hooks by the 100. The package is about the same size as a 25 pack and you will be sneaking in 4 times the amount at one time; but leave an empty package of 25 lying around with a $5.00 price tag on it so she thinks a 100 cost $5.00. How to Acquire Fur From Soft Fuzzy Animals If She Loves Little Soft Fuzzy Animals - go to JoAnn fabric and buy some synthetic craft fur and show it to her. Try and find a natural color like black or brown. Then; when you buy seal, rabbit, beaver, deer or any other cute fuzzy animal; tell her its craft fur from JoAnn's. How to Acquire New Fly Lines - watch a Jimmy Houston fishing program with her and when Jimmy talks about changing his $8.50 "fishing line"; tell her it's probably about time you did the same; and order a $100 Sci Angler Sharkskin. How to Acquire a New Vest, Pack or Gear Bag - if you don't have an outdoor pond; tell her you have been thinking about it. If you can talk her into it; get a Fish Pond catalog and order yourself a new vest and a gear bag or two. Hiding Your Investments - buy Goo Gone and black permanent markers so you can either remove the price tags or cross out the price of newly acquired items. Keep receipts in a locked secure location only YOU have the key to. How to Hide Other Purchases - if she asks; Renzetti makes grated cheese, Simms is a furniture store; L.L. Bean makes, "Large Lima Beans"; Sage is a herb; Ross sells "Dresses for Less" and Whiting is the name of that famous girl singer from the 1940's & 50's. Other Brand Name Catalog Tips - HIDE THEM! How to Justify New Purchases - buy an old junker of a reel or an old beater rod at a flea market and let her see you fiddling with it like you ALWAYS had it. Then sell it on eBay and tell her you just sold one of your fly reels or rods so you have the cash to buy a new one. It works like a charm! How to Visit Fly Shops - If you must visit a fly shop while with your wife; always pick one next to a woman's clothing store and suggest she goes shopping. Be prepared to feel EXTRA guilty if she meets you back at the car, ten minutes after you stash a new Abel reel under the seat and says: "I didn't buy anything, it was all too expensive". Also NEVER let her come inside where she may have an opportunity to see price tags. If that happens, it's over! Always remember that Doin' the B.I.G W.A.D unsuccessfully results in failure; sometimes referred to as The OOPS! Good luck and DON'T let your wife read this! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maxwell Posted December 13, 2008 Share Posted December 13, 2008 rofl!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pipes Posted December 13, 2008 Share Posted December 13, 2008 I stuffed a bag full of fly tying "essentials" in my laptop bag on the way home from work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilverDoctor Posted December 13, 2008 Share Posted December 13, 2008 And when I'm gone don't let my wife sell my equipment for what I told her I bought it for. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mkm Posted December 13, 2008 Share Posted December 13, 2008 I'm an amateur at this game....I felt guilty at first but after reading this I find comfort that I am not alone. I have been hiding my new sage 4wt and ross reel for months now. Next year I will probably slip up and she will find the pair but at that point I just tell her that I have had the rod/reel for a long time and we didn't even notice the money missing. Come to think about it she also hasn't found the new pair of simms wading boots either!!! mkm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
troutlover Posted December 13, 2008 Share Posted December 13, 2008 I must be lucky that my wife can't stand fishing therefore she takes no notice my fishing stuff to her is "That big pile of junk in the corner of the garage" funny she hasn't noticed the pile is four times bigger than it was last year! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hawgstoppah Posted December 15, 2008 Share Posted December 15, 2008 The best - start up a small one man guiding outfit and tell the wife all the growing pile of junk - is for "clients" to use :) worked like a damn charm... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Sundancefisher Posted December 15, 2008 Share Posted December 15, 2008 trick is to marry a woman that knows nothing about fishing. Start off the relationship owning lots of rods and reels. Then she never can tell when a new one comes into the house! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rhuseby Posted December 17, 2008 Share Posted December 17, 2008 Best tip of all. Find the right woman, my girl lives 1200 km away. Smuggling, no problem. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gary Posted December 17, 2008 Share Posted December 17, 2008 Taco you are the best.....that was priceless. Most useful article I have ever read Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KnottyGirl Posted December 17, 2008 Share Posted December 17, 2008 You all think you're being pretty sneaky... but I'm willing to bet there are more than one of you out there who's wife (while you were probably out fishing) recently smuggled in a 1,000 dollar pair of Jimmy Choo shoes! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crowsnest Posted December 17, 2008 Share Posted December 17, 2008 true story. I purchased a pt boat a few years ago and quietly stored it in the garage without telling my wife. Then a few months later while at a family b.b.q my older brother (also a fly-fisher) blurts out in front of my wife: "How's the new pontoon boat?" I had some 'splainin to do when I got home. and again a year or so ago, when my fenwick HMX became the unwilling recipient of my unbridled anger, I went out and bought a new G-Loomis #6 and again didn't tell my wife, and again a while later my SAME brother blurts out "How's the new fly-rod working". :angry: Some people's kids.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reevesr1 Posted December 17, 2008 Share Posted December 17, 2008 You all think you're being pretty sneaky... but I'm willing to bet there are more than one of you out there who's wife (while you were probably out fishing) recently smuggled in a 1,000 dollar pair of Jimmy Choo shoes! Dear Knotty One, I have found a couple of "Manolo Blahnik" shoe boxes in my recycling. Should I be concerned? Signed, Chagrined in Chaparral Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KnottyGirl Posted December 17, 2008 Share Posted December 17, 2008 Dear Knotty One, I have found a couple of "Manolo Blahnik" shoe boxes in my recycling. Should I be concerned? Signed, Chagrined in Chaparral Dear Chagrined in Chaparral, No, do not be concerned... Simply continue your FF equipment smuggling shenanigans, and never breathe a word of this conversation to your wife. Consequently, your happy little world will stay nicely intact. Signed, KnottyGirl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SanJuanWorm Posted December 17, 2008 Share Posted December 17, 2008 I bought an ATV. Told my gf about it and said "its in the garage". She never believed me for 2 months. Then she came out n saw it. Good times. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
126barnes Posted December 18, 2008 Share Posted December 18, 2008 I bought an ATV. Told my gf about it and said "its in the garage". She never believed me for 2 months. Then she came out n saw it. Good times. Kinda did that with my truck, it went like this Me: Honey I want to talk to you about getting a new truck She: I don't want to talk about it Me: OK Two days later She: Who owns that truck parked in our drive way Like you said good times Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acurrie Posted January 13, 2009 Share Posted January 13, 2009 I would have to say women are just as guilty as men with the "smuggling", and the same old explanation gets used, "I spent the extra $$$$ so it will last waaay longer and the quality is so much better". Too bad hand bags, purses, and high heels don't come with a lifetime warranty! Dammit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walker1 Posted January 13, 2009 Share Posted January 13, 2009 Kinda did that with my truck, it went like this Me: Honey I want to talk to you about getting a new truck She: I don't want to talk about it Me: OK Two days later She: Who owns that truck parked in our drive way Like you said good times AWESOME!!!!! I buy her the good gifts at bdays, Christmas etc.......... can't wait to get myself a new rod!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KnottyGirl Posted January 13, 2009 Share Posted January 13, 2009 Too bad hand bags, purses, and high heels don't come with a lifetime warranty! Dammit. Come on Drew... not like we're trompin' through the bush with our heels and handbags! Who needs a lifetime warranty when you take good care of your stuff?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jayhad Posted January 14, 2009 Share Posted January 14, 2009 My wife doesn't give a s**t as long as the mortgage gets paid Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taco Posted January 14, 2009 Author Share Posted January 14, 2009 My wife doesn't give a s**t as long as the mortgage gets paid That too will change Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mikey Posted January 15, 2009 Share Posted January 15, 2009 My Winston rod cost me a Louis Vuitton purse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ladystrange Posted January 18, 2009 Share Posted January 18, 2009 priceless. of course i am of the mind, if you earned the money, you get to spend it... as long as the joint bills, like the mortgage, cable, property taxes are paid. i dont want to be fiancing your ass cause you spent your half of the bills on fishing gear or you could always find a girl in to fly fishing with a competitive nature, who spends most of her money on fly fishing stuff and see who ends up with the biggest pile of gear. i need a new waste pack, 3 wt reel, new 3 & 5 wt line, a new 8wt saltwater rod with reel and line this season. but my cat doesnt care as long as he gets to play in the bag i bring the stuff home in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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