birchy

No, no! Phil is laying BESIDE the hole.. Doug is laying in the hole.

My 2 fav "no arms and no legs" jokes.. What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs water skiing? Skip What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in the bushes? Russell.

YOWZA! What kind of salmon is that?

HA!

I agree the boys are rockin and rollin now.. but as far as Kipper coming around.. i'm not so sure. Did you see the stat they showed toward the end of the game last night.. first 20 games/last 20 games.. Kipper has actually let in 2 more goals in the last 20 than in the first 20. BUT.. the boys are scoring alot more.. so, there ya go.

I like CDock's better.. "So a seal walks into a club..."

Scares the hell out of their dogs!

Received this email: So this lady says that the other day she saw a man driving down the interstate at high speed with a dog hanging on to the tailgate for dear life.. She said if he hadn't been going so fast in the other direction she would have tried to stop him. A few weeks later her son sees the same truck at the Bass Pro Shop! The guy is a taxidermist!

I'm a fan of the Dimestore Fisherman... because I can catch fish from the shore that they can't from a boat: http://flyfishcalgary.com/board/index.php?...store+fisherman Seriously though.. I really like "Sport Fishing on the Fly" as well.

Gitcher own damn thread!

Gitcher..

RusteHookz: Knock, knock..

Dr. Dre of course! Man.. some of you are twisted!

HAHAHA! Priceless. P.S. - I think I need to complain now.. I didn't get anesthetic for my colonsocopy! Just some "sleepy drugs".

Craziness. Had it done 3 times in 2008. Shooting for ZERO this year. One of my other ones was that way too.. doctor was like "Imagine yourself some place nice, some place warm.." and then I was waking up. Yeah, it's nuts how groggy you are when you wake up! I was reading about general anesthesia a bit and they basically say that they're borderline killing you.. which is why the right dose is so crucial.

I've heard good things about Quinn Security.

Sheesh.. can't compete with some of those! Rode motocross bikes growing up from 4 years old to 17.. had a few nasty wrecks, but never really broke any major bones. Broke some bones in my foot one time after a boch'd jump.. I was at home on the couch crying in pain until my dad got home. His response "if it still hurts tomorrow we'll take you to the hospital." (The men in my family are STUPID when it comes to that stuff.. too much ego. "Ya don't go to the hospital unless your guts are hanging out" kind of mentality) Well, it still hurt that bad the next day. Went to the hospital for X-Ray's... "nope, nothing broken, just bone bruises". 3-4 weeks later get a phone call.. "yeah, you better come back in, we think we found something". 3 of the bones in my foot were broken, and one fractured. I could see it on the X-Ray plain as day! Don't know what the first doctor was smokin.. Dad was pretty choked! By that time I was walking fine, so they just let it go. Another time I was doing doughnuts and the back tire got grip suddenly.. bike jumped out from underneath me, the momentum flipped me around in the air and I landed right on the end of the handlebars with the small of my back. It hurt so bad I thought for sure the handlebar went INTO my back.. thankfully (Teck.. I can't even imagine!!) it didn't. Another time I was riding with my buddy and went around a turn and decided to stop to ask where he wanted to go next. Well he came flying around the corner wide open and didn't have time to react.. smacked right into the back of me.. he went flying over the bars and landed like 20 feet up the road.. his bike went about 10 feet straight up in the air.. my bike flew out from underneath me and into the ditch. I was lucky enough to stay right where I was.. perfect position for his bike to come back from 10 feet in the air and land straight on top of me! I was only like 6 years old or something so i'm sure my numbers are a little exaggerated. Nonetheless, I wasn't strong enough to get out from under his bike.. his bike was still running and the back tire was directly above my head so everytime I tried to lift up my head to yell to him to come help me i'd get the my head shook violently as the knobs or spokes or something rubbed against the back of my helmet. After shaking the fog out of his head he finally came back and lifted the bike off me.. shortly thereafter I got an earful about stopping in the middle of the trail after a turn! Then one time I jumped off the end of a huge gravel pile.. I used to do it all the time.. would just land halfway down the slope and keep going. Well this time I didn't look and the front-end loaders had dug it out so it was almost vertical. Landed with quite the thud at the bottom.. about ~25 feet down! Surprisingly.. nothing broken on the bike or me! I always wore full protective gear.. so I'm sure that saved me a bunch of times! Slipping down the laundry shute that time.. that one hurt. More recently.. running into that bike rack with my nose! Didn't feel good at all. To make myself feel tougher I tell people "I got hit in the face with a Land Rover." (hey.. the Land Rover was attached to the bike rack! ) Waking up after my septoplasty.. that was pretty painful! Only until the drugs kicked in though.. so not so bad. My pituitary surgery actually didn't hurt that much after I woke up.. I think the nose surgery was actually worse. *edit* All 4 wisdom teeth at once was a gooder too!

Maxwell.. What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?

Tylenol 3's.. percoset.. morphine.. pssft! Child's play! The REAL painkiller is the general anethesia! LOL. That stuff is ridiculous. They asked me to count down from ten, and I think I made it to...... *snore*

Yes.. yes they do! I had something written out here.. but it might be more crude than funny. Hope your arm heals up Rick!

PM sent.

I can probably get you a job at Deloitte dude. Send me your resume - birch.ryan@gmail.com

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!

Huh! Never would've taken you for a sucker..