Taco

That'll work

A Saskatchewanian, an Albertan and a Texan were debating who had the best memory. The dude from Saskatchewan claimed, "I remember my first day of kindergarten." The Albertan boasted, "I remember speaking my first word!" The Texan exclaimed, "I remember going to the senior prom with my father and coming home with my mother!"

sounds about right, my old lady could hunt me down anywheres but she's ascared of bears so that leaves everythang up west a safe zone

Wait'll you see your first boil the size of a honda civic, you'll be standin' there, mouth hangin' open, airin' out your tonsils. Them little buggers are a hoot too on light equipment.

Looks like Garmin it is.. Thanks a bunch

Semi-hijack; I'm kinda waitin' on some replies on this one as well but am more interested in the software end of it. I'm about to start packin' a tablet PC for work and wouldn't mind turnin it into a GPS capable unit, which is easy enough but wouldn't mind fewer glitches and finer Canadian detail than the MS Mappoint based products. Any decent Canadian based mapping programs out there for under 500 bucks?? Sorry about halfassed derail Hoss.

Not important Ray but I should change it to Most Hilarious Thread Ever

Thanks guys, guess I'll work on the honeydew list and sneak off and pester some of the Rev's walleye

SFTE

cool, thanks

I got some days off, anyone know if the ice is off Bear and/or Big Iron?

good stuff man

Outside the Bristol Zoo, in England, there is a parking lot for 150 cars and 8 coaches, or buses. It was manned by a very pleasant attendant with a ticket machine charging cars £1 (about $1.40) and coaches £5 (about $7). This parking attendant worked there solid for all of 25 years. Then, one day, he just didn't turn up for work. "Oh well", said Bristol Zoo Management - "we'd better phone up the City Council and get them to send a new parking attendant..." "Err ... no", said the Council, "that parking lot is your responsibility." "Err ... no", said Bristol Zoo Management, "the attendant was employed by the City Council, wasn't he?" "Err ... NO!" insisted the Council. Sitting in his villa in somewhere in Spain, is a bloke who had been taking the parking lot fees, estimated at £400 (about $560) per day at Bristol Zoo for the last 25 years. Assuming 7 days a week, this amounts to just over £3.6 million ($7 million)!

Sirius Outlaw on the drive; the babblin' of the brook, chirp of the birds, wind in the trees and the roar of the grizzly whilst fissin'

Birch, fire off some resumes and go fishin', less stress that way Good luck Hoss

da crackberry krew don't do smilies Birch, I thought y'all new that

Thanks for that Jim. The non-natives get to stay in Bill Allen?

An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow." The next day the 85-year-old-man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor asked what happened. "Well, doc, it's like this," the man explained. "First, I tried with my right hand, but nothing happened. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. "Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. "We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried, too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing." The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor!?" The old man replied, "Yep, and not one of us could get that damn jar open..."

((((RING)))) **Pick Up** "Hello?" "Hi honey, this is Daddy, Is Mommy near the phone?" "No Daddy, She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul." After a brief pause, Daddy says, "But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Paul." "Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy right now" ...... Brief Pause "Uh, okay then, ..this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door, and shout to Mommy that Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway." "Okay Daddy, just a minute" A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the phone. "I did it, Daddy" "And what happened honey?" he asked "Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming. Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser and now she isn't moving at all!" "Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Paul?" "He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too. He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool. But I guess he didn't know that you took out the water last week to clean it. He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he's dead" ***Long Pause*** ******Longer Pause****** Then Daddy says: "Swimming pool?? ... Is this 486-5731?"

pppttttt

A man asked his doctor if he thought he'd live to be a hundred. The doctor asked the man, "Do you smoke or drink?" "No," he replied, "I've never done either." "Do you gamble, drive fast cars, and fool around with women?" inquired the doctor. "No, I've never done any of those things either," said the man. "Well then," said the doctor, "WTF would you want to live to be a hundred?"

22? *hit mang I got boots older'n that..... Have a gooder Maxwell

may long horror stories??? I worked all fraggin' weekend!

I'm tired of ****in' snow

never.... but then I've been bankrupt once, damn near again n'other time and broke to many times to count but I've never regretted tellin' the suit and tie world..