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Will Someone Teach Me To Fly Fish?


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SJW,

I'm sure you must need some new flies, or maybe a lesson or two? Check out the Streamwatch auction and "direct" some of your winter earnings that way! An excellent way to get back into the sport........

 

I can't do anything for man boobs though--but maybe you'd like some ladies rainwear?????? Item 27 I think.

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Jesus Christ, two strangers on one thread, now if we get Clive to post here too we can have an old home week

 

BTW; It was use of his crotch that got'em into this predicament.....SJW that is

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Didn't I see Clive somewhere in another thread as I was reading through late last night? He surely must have lost my email....haven't heard from him since 1985 ;)

 

Gonna fish the Bow with us this year Cowboy? Will this be the year? Got a funky new boat you'd look good parked in the back in ;)

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Twist my arm just a little bit and I'd lower myself to fish the Bow

 

What youse get for a new hole in the water?

 

Well Well.....progress at last. We bought this little craft....used to someone, new to us....can't wait to throw it in the river.

 

post-190-1271633282.jpg

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step one, take stiff but flexi pole and run some string run through it

 

step 2 next - tie a curved pointy thing that has fur, feathers or some such stuff stuck to it on to the end of the string.

 

step 3 add, lead weights close to the point thing to make it sink faster and a brightly coloured thingy to the other end to make it float

 

remember testicles, specticles, wallet and watch - go to fast flowing water thing, that flows through town, we call it the bow in case you forgot, otherwise step 5 cannot occur

 

step 4 hold your rod firmly and fling the string, floaty thing, weights and cruved point object at the water and wait patiently for a fish to mistake the pointy thing with fur/feathers etc for a food item

 

step 5 if all goes well the fish will impale itself in the mouth. this is now cause for excitement!!

 

if nothing happens - repeat step 4 until step 5 happens

 

plastic bags will give head shakes, rocks and trees dont. no need for excitement - repeat step 4

 

hooking grass, dogs, kids, trees, shopping carts, birds, bats, golf balls, skeletal remains or beavers does not count, skip to step 6 and - repeat step 4

 

if fish mistakes the floaty thing as the point thing, the fish is defective and you didnt want it anyway - repeat step 4,

 

at this point you may add pointy thing to floaty thing to try to out smart the defective fish - repeat step 4,

 

if you take a friend and get tangled in his string, skip to step 6 and then - repeat step 4

 

step 4.1 - nothing is happening... change type of pointy thing - repeat step 4

step 4.2 - still nothing... add more weight - repeat step 4

step 4.3 - zzzzz... take off weight - repeat step 4

step 4.4 - really?!? still nothing - change placement of floaty thing - repeat step 4

step 4.5 - getting frustated - rather than change type of pointy thing, add another one - repeat step 4

step 4.6 - take a moment to breath - repeat step 4

step 4.7 - wind gust of 90k, string goes in opposite direction while flinging, hooking yourself - this does not count - skip to step 6 and repeat step 4

step 4.8 - throw stick thing in to the bush behind you, jump up and down, yell at friend - repeat step 4

step 4.9 - hummm, still nothing, eh? take all the stuff you tied to your string off replace with different a heavier string attatchment and a heavier pointy thing (no floaty thing) or add only a pointy thing that floats - repeat step 4

 

Step 6 - reel fish in, release and repeat step 4 or realize why its been so long and go home

 

 

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That's what she said :whistle:

 

:$*%&:

 

it is the most important part of step 4... limp grip and results in poor sensitivity and an under powered action causing improper flexation of the rod thus equalling inadquet range and a really bad delivery

 

why waste the time and the effort on limp, firm is best when handling anyone's rod

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