LynnF

Rick has an unhealthy relationship with his mother.

Frolic? Good God you guys...you can use stars and stuff you know. Think of another F word Gil and you have what it stands for. Sheesh

You know...she needs to just STFU. I'm so sick of her showing up everywhere now. And the more I see of her the more I see just how stupid she is.

Gosh LE.....I didn't really check. The only thing I was thinking of plowing her with was my fist - in her face. Takes a lot to get me mad....especially road rage type mad. But I was it that night. I think I may well have been Batman.

I'm changing the subject here cuz this is clearly going nowhere and nobody is getting nastier. I, on the other hand, experienced an extreme case of nastiness last weekend at the Rogers Video Store (Dave will understand this story) parking lot. Women drivers are f*cking bitches sometimes....writer not included. Went to the store with Hayden and his buddy last weekend to rent movies. I was in the video store parking lot and the spots are SMALL and the backing up lane is narrow so it's oftentimes a 2 try effort to back out with my car. Now because my car is so long (has the 3 rows of seats) I always use my mirrors to back up. Started backing up. Honk. Bitch in Toyota Corolla behind me thinks I'm gonna back into her. Keep going - have lots of room. Honk. I stop...pull forward. Put it in reverse for round two. HOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNKKKKK. I keep backing up. She lays on the horn and doesn't stop. I put the car in park, put on my emergency brake and get out of my car. Hayden says "MOM! WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!". I said "sit there and don't move". I walk to her car and tell her to get out and come take a look at how much space is in between our cars and that while she doesn't see me looking behind me when I"m backing up, I"m using my mirrors. She YELLS at me "I'm not getting out of my f**king car you crazy bitch!". I said "listen you f*cking bag....either get out and look or shut the f**k up with your f**king horn". She rolled up her window. Got back in my car, put it in reverse...hadn't even moved and she started laying on the horn. Hayden's sitting there with his mouth wide open. His friend is in the back seat...window rolled down and he heard the whole thing. I just left it in reverse and didn't move until she quit with the horn. Then I said "I won you stupid b*tch" and pulled out LOL. Hayden's staring at me and says 'MOM....WHAT THE HELL". OMG...poor kid with his white trash mother got an earful that night. I'm surprised his friend's parents let the kid come over anymore...cuz I know he went right home to his mother and told her the story/

The Stampeders are in the Grey Cup? Who knew? I can't stand the CFL. I'm an American when it comes to my football. But I'll cheer on the Calgary team I guess.

Dear Santa, Taco is making a mockery of religion now. Please send a bigger cow to be his friend. One who used to punt for the Argos would be fine.

Dear Santa: Please please please may I have a pair of these for Christmas?

Matt's in CaCa

now that's original

I'm not working

Thank you VERY MUCH. Merry Christmas to you Taco - may Santa fill your stocking with many fine things.

Ya ya...Rickrolled....how original. Task Manager took care of him. Besides...Barry Manilow did it better.

Dear Santa, While I was wandering through the Christmas wonderland that is the Christmas Store and experiencing the joy and love of the season, I was thinking about a certain someone, a little elf if you will, who might be having a hard time getting into the Christmas spirit this year. And he’s been so busy lately with work and getting his girlfriend pregnant, that I thought I’d send you his gift list just in case he misses the mailing deadline. But first I’d like you to put a special gift in your bag for him, from all of his good friends at Flyfish Calgary – to help him get into that Christmas spirit. You see, Dave’s beautiful girlfriend is pregnant with his child and, while this is a joyous occasion for all, Dave is going through a difficult time right now because he’s not getting laid on a regular basis. Now….not being a man I really don’t know how this is working out for him but I don’t imagine he’s in a particularly festive spirit and may be kind of mean and prone to doing things he otherwise wouldn’t do. Or maybe not. In any case, our special gift for him is a gift basket containing the following things: Cinnamon and vanilla scented candles – 5 minute burn life should be good enough Josh Groban’s greatest hits CD A Very Special Christmas with Rita McNeil DVD – the one with the rousing encore of Oh Come all Ye Faithful is best And a bottle of your finest hand cream Please sign the card: In your time of need, your friends at FFC are all pulling for ya. Just not this time. Thanks Santa – Dave will not what to do from there. Dave is a selfless guy and hasn’t really asked for much for Christmas, so if you could fill his tree with as many of these gifts as possible I know he’d be so happy on Christmas morning. Here we go: The new best seller by Douglas Dale: Wrong Boy on the Right Side of Town: Redneck Go Home The new best selling adult XXX DVDs: Dirtbags on Dirtbikes and Lay me on my ATV The new do-it-yourself book: Flyfishing for Dummies: What To Do When Your Friends Outfish You The new Dr. Spock baby book: It’s Not OK to Drink Beer and Curl Up in the Fetal Position When Your Baby Cries All Night Which It Will For Months On End The First Time Dads new bestseller: No, It’s Not OK to Breastfeed when you’re 30-something, Even If You Call It Foreplay A couple of new T-Shirts: I Facebooked your Mom in my Avalanche My Avalanche can beat up your Avalanche When I think of my Avalanche I need my hand cream If I lived in Colorado I’d vote for the Avalanche I’m afraid to ski for fear of being found in an Avalanche Thanks Santa. Love, Lynn

Sorry....yer SOL. My Christmas spirit only extends to lighting the outside of my house. You'll need more than a box of lights for your palatial manse this year - better get about 49 more.

Let's start talking about Christmas. All you bah humbugs (except Clive cuz I luv him best LOL), feel free to give me your biggest bitch and rant. I LOVE CHRISTMAS. I love all things Christmas - the decorating, shopping, baking, wrapping, parties, EVERYTHING. There isn't one thing about Christmas that I don't like - except when people whine about the commercialism of it. To them I say: DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT AND GET OVER IT. I did - we made some changes to our Christmas that make it meaningful to us and allow us to have the kind of day/celebration that we want. We don't focus on how much we spend, rather how much fun we had buying for each other and how much fun it is to give. Time to remember what Christmas is all about - keep that in focus and you'll have a wonderful time with your family and friends. Yule is cool! Come on let's hear it - get in the spirit! Santa's back - humbugs are whack. Noel is here - bring on the cheer!

What I'd like to know is who the dillholes are that buy this *hit that allow this effing moron to do this crap. Who buys this? Click here if the movie does not play.

Well...I don't feel so bad or stupid about this now cuz I asked this question of 2 of the biggest past drug users I know and they didn't even know what it was. And neither did my 14 year old. Or so he claims.

A foreshadowing into 20 years from now.

Ya.....I've seen your version of a pedicure there cowboy - she was justified in punting ya LOL Kidding of course, as you know. Hope you're not hurtin' too long or too bad. Nothing that a half or whole bottle of rum won't cure, no?

That's her revenge for all those years of yardin' on her tits...er....teets.

Wow Hoss....taken down by a sweet itty bitty bovine were ya? You must notta had yer *hit kickin' boots on or ya woulda punted that bitch into space!

I know ya old fart. Sometimes I think I live in a cave.

No you don't...it would blow my square image.

Thanks Jay. I'm about as square as it gets apparently. I have to learn the lingo from my 14 year old. That scares me.