He's an old man and he sh*ts his pants, and pees his pants, and ... umm.. I guess he has other issues too...
Ok here's one.
A guy's mother in law is very very sick...
He takes her to the hospital and a few hours later the doctor comes out and says... I got some bad news and some good news... which do you want first?
The guy says "gimme the bad news"
So the doc says... your mother in law is really sick and will need constant care in your home... she will live for at least another 10 years... but your going to have to feed her, and oh one more this this condition will leave her paralyzed from the neck down so your going to have to wheel her around in a wheelchair, and ... unfortunately, your also going to have to change her, and take care of her .. umm... bathroom visits... for her...
The guy, in horror, looks up at the doctor.... sooo... whats the good news?
The doc says... "Ha!! I'm just kiddin... she died!"