Dumbest Questions Asked By Tourists/banff

[Hawgstoppah]

Most "bang for the buck" in the area of tourist revenge (when I operated a truck) hit the air horn for 20-30 seconds at a bear jam - shocked wide open mouths at a bear smoking into the woods followed by the utmost look of utter disdain directed at me from hundreds of tourist who jsut nissed a great bear picture (yeah right)- at that point I politely suggest that they please move their parked cars off the highway LOL

 

You just won my utmost respect

 

I've done the same thing... mostly in jasper.... banff has there wildlife fences now and I never see a daggone thing anymore there...

[SanJuanWorm]

Lets not hate on Americans too much. Im sure I've asked some doozies when I moved to Louisiana.

[Maximum]

Lets not hate on Americans too much. Im sure I've asked some doozies when I moved to Louisiana.

 

 

You talk funny...

[SanJuanWorm]

Y'all must be from north of I-10

[bigalcal]

I worked three summers at Tunnel Mtn Campground in Banff. I was asked a lot of stupid questions.

 

"Are there any undiscovered lakes around here?"

 

I heard they have a book at the main Parks info office downtown that the staff write all the stupid questions in. I'd love to see that!

[Red]

I worked for Parks for a few summers when I was younger. The most asked question was "Are the elk tame? Can I get a picture of my kids petting/riding that elk?" The best one I remember was a Texan asked me what size of trees we planted on the mountains. I told him that we didn't plant the trees they have always been there. He didn't believe me. Kind of made me want to pound my head against the wall.

[lonefisher]

I was once asked how old a random tree was..... I looked and pretended to think and said 145 years old give or take.

I am much more inclined to BS when I am not working.

 

Once had a yankee ask a co worker what sort of scrambled eggs she was eating because they were so yellow, he replied without missing a beat. They're special eggs imported from france, she was thrilled...... In truth..... they came out of a bag from bridgebrand I believe.

 

I was once asked what the rules were for climbing trees...... I was stumped with that one

 

I also love being asked if my accent is Canadian.

 

I once asked where an american was from he replied new york...... So I said which province is that again? Ontario?

 

Playing dumb is fun sometimes.

[126barnes]

Lets not hate on Americans too much. Im sure I've asked some doozies when I moved to Louisiana.

 

 

Lived in Houston for 5 year and got many of strange looks. I think it had to do with the Newfie Brogue and that no one knew what I was sayin. It just killed me to slow down that much.

[126barnes]

I was applying for a Texas DL and filled out the form. Took it up to the lady and she informed be that I had filled it out wrong because I was transferring from a "Territory of the United States", to which I reply that my DL was Canadian. She argued with me that Canada was a part of the US, and that if I didn't believe her I could ask the Governor of Texas George W. Bush. With the two armed DPS officers standing directly behind her, I figured I cut my losses and informed her that George W. Bush was the president of the United States. Amended my application and saved $20 buck for the transfers of my DL instead of a new application.

[Guest TerryH]

Here's one from Jasper -- my son worked in the boat house at Maligne Lake many many years ago, and got this question from a tourist.

 

Question: How far is Five Mile Point?

 

Smartass answer: Oh, about three miles

 

Terry

[Hawgstoppah]

Here's one from Jasper -- my son worked in the boat house at Maligne Lake many many years ago, and got this question from a tourist.

 

Question: How far is Five Mile Point?

 

Smartass answer: Oh, about three miles

 

Terry

 

Rofl sorta like sume dumbarse truck driver on the CB in golden asking how far east from town is 10 mile hill... duhhhhhhh

[Nick0Danger]

Dude, that is awesome scare the animals away so they cant take any Pics LOL. Hey hawgstopper you making any runs to BC? or you strictly a Alberta driver now?

[esleech]

I can't even find this kind of thing funny...just sad...I want to laugh...really.

[Taco]

When I was a garbageman many many moons back a fella with his family gathered around me at the crowfoot veiwpoint and asked the infamous "How much does a mountain weigh ?" to me that always seemed like an urban legend as I had never actually heard anyone ask, even though all locals proclaimed it to be a common question. Well I had thought of a way to answer that one just in case anyone ever asked so I thought I would have some fun with this fella. I told him that it is a very little known fact that a mountain has so much mass that it creates its own gravitational pull - as a result the gravity pulling up is so great at the point where the mountain meets the ground that if you were to weigh it it would only show a couple thousand pounds, well this poor guy and his family all stood there amazed, jaws dropped wide open, as I explained that because of this effect we can actually push the mountains around with a couple bull dozers, and if it wasn't for that, we could have never built this road in such a straight line. (I went on to further expain that the mountains look so wonderful becasue we lined them up that way) - anyway as I walked away I heard the father start talking to his kids about how amazing it was to learn something like that and guilt got the better of me, I turned around and tried to cover my butt by saying I was just testing the kids and told him and his family the truth, and that I was only joking - the Kids thought it was hilarious (especially since I totally fooled their dad) but the father was clearly preturbed - spent the next couple weeks waiting to get fired LOL but never heard anything about it again.

 

The whole "do unto others thing" and karma kept me from messing with tourists ever since.

 

Did 3 seasons in my mis-spent youth pushin a pack string and/or dudes for Warner-Mackenzie Outfitting in BNP...was only asked the "How much does a mountain weigh?" question once by a middle aged individual and his "Professional" looking companion. She about peed herself when I gave the stock answer..."With or without the trees??" The guy totally missed it.

[maxwell]

lmao this thread kicks ass...ide post em but htere prettymuch covered

[Pythagoras]

My father, while in Hawaii, told a story to some Yanks about us having wooden sidewalks up here...they were amazed...then he told them we had to bring them in at night so the beavers don't get at them.

[bigalcal]

It seem's that there are a lot of old Banffites on this Forum. I worked there from 78 -88 and worked at the King Eddy. Probably served a few of ya!

[lonefisher]

asked this in the parking lot at the top of the spray lakes hill above canmore by an older german woman with her husband

 

 

G-umm vat dis dat sign mean ve drive past?

Me- Sorry what sign??

G- vell it said effalance areea? No stopping

Me- effalance..... effalance hmmmm avalanche area? avalanche area no stopping

G- what does it mean?

Me- avalanche means the snow can fall down and hit the road (this is accompanied with some very vague hand gesturing which were apparently misinterpreted to mean that the mountain was going to fall over)

 

Her face turns almost white she turns and hits her husband and starts giving him *hit in German all I caught was something along the lines of I told you not to stop there.

 

I tried to explain that the major concern was about snow and that since it was spring and the snow was gone it it was not so dangerous but I don't think the point ever got accross.

[SanJuanWorm]

It just goes to show...people of all shapes, sizes, races, color are all stupid including me

[Grizz]

I was guiding on Maligne one day with a couple of Americans. When we started out it was a beautiful day, by the time we got to the other side of the narrows (about 7 miles by electric motor), the weather, as it so often does in the mountains, went to *hit rather quickly. Cold and a few flakes of snow,etc.

 

The one guys stated "It seems to be much colder at this end of the lake" to which I replied, "Well, we are much higher up at this end of the lake". He nodded in agreement since it made so much sense, the other fellow chimed in behind him with words to the effect of "Well duh!".

 

About 20 seconds later they got really really quiet for a while...

 

LMAO!

 

Lots of others, but I loved that one in particular.

[bigbowtrout]

I worked with a guy who went to Banff with his family and was taking pictures of the Elk and this large male with a killer rack was eating grass and would not look up for a photo so he went over to him and lifted his head for a pic he had no clue of the danger he could have been in but he got his pick and went his way

[birchy]

I worked with a guy who went to Banff with his family and was taking pictures of the Elk and this large male with a killer rack was eating grass and would not look up for a photo so he went over to him and lifted his head for a pic he had no clue of the danger he could have been in but he got his pick and went his way

 

Serious? I don't believe you..

[bigalcal]

Someone asked "Where are the albino elk?" To which the Parks employee replied" Albino Elk? Never heard of any but I guess it's possible". The tourist said" Of course there are. There are signs along the highway of white elk with red eyes and the sign Attention under it!!"

That's one of my faves.....

[Grizz]

LOL!

 

I had a woman ask me if "Attention" was french for "Elk" - all the other signs were bilingual...just about died laughing over that one.

 

What was that about the passport?

[bigbowtrout]

Serious? I don't believe you..

 

Dead Serious dude and my jaw was on the floor when he told me the story like it was nothing and he was in no danger.