LynnF

Anybody that knows anything about vodka is good to know. So....good to know ya!

Charlie was fixing a door and found that he needed a new hinge, so he sent his wife Mary to Home Depot. At Home Depot, Mary saw a beautiful bathroom faucet while she was waiting for Walt, (the manager) to finish waiting on a customer. When Walt was finished, Mary asked.. 'How much for that faucet?' Walt replied, 'That's pewter and it costs $300.' My goodness that sure is alot Mary exclaimed. Then she proceeded to describe the hinge that Charlie had sent her to buy, and Walt went to the back room to find it. From the back room Walt yelled, 'Mary, you wanna screw for that hinge?' Mary replied, 'No, but I will for the faucet.' This is why you can't send a woman to Home Depot (the opinions in this statement do not necessarily reflect those of the joke poster )

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident on a snowy, cold Monday morning; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished, but amazingly neither of them is hurt. God works in mysterious ways. After they crawl out of their cars, the man is yelling about women drivers. The woman says, 'So, you're a man. That's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but we're unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should be friends and live in peace for the rest of our days.' Flattered, the man replies, 'Oh yes, I agree completely, this must be a sign from God! But you're still at fault...women shouldn't be allowed to drive.' The woman continues, 'And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune.' She hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle, puts the cap back on and hands it back to the man. The man asks, 'Aren't you having any?' The woman replies, 'No. I think I'll just wait for the police...' MORAL OF THE STORY: Women are clever, evil bitches. Don't mess with them.

It is Birchy...it's a clip from the Rachel Ray show.

I learned that technique years ago. She's an idiot.

Your reality cheque is about to bounce again Dave.

Congratulations Dave....what a nice surprise! P.S. I don't think your girlfriend "got herself pregnant". 9 out of 10 dentists agree that it's mostly the guy's fault. Hey everyone...just think about all the great times we're going to have next season, talking about who's outfishing Dave. I can hardly wait

Birchy must be bored. OK....I'll play. Chuck Norris sneezes with his eyes open.

I blame it all on the guy in my office who is constantly clearing his throat and sniffling loudly. Can we add him to the polls? How do people like that do that kind of stuff in a public place? I'm disgusted. Oh ya....back to the reason I'm here. Rick - I expected more from you. The "I blame Canada" is a copout. Go have another coffee, maybe smoke a joint or two and come back with something funnier

Uh huh...dr office...sure Dave...right right. How about guys and their incessant need to buy cars and motorcycles and ATV's and expensive fishing rods?

Yes (the answer to your question). As we all are. That was a bigger crowd than the last Metallica concert here in Calgary. Plus the conductor had some wicked hair going on. Neat video Don - I appreciate good "music" like that.

I know eh...imagine me getting something to do with drinking right. Go figure....a real SHOT in the dark hahahahahahahaha

Oh I can't wait for Rick to show up....this is gonna be a good one! I blame it on the sperm one. Only because sperm has never been an option in any other poll and I think it needs a vote.

Here's a quick and sureproof lesson for success for you: do the opposite of what I've done.

I made a point of not looking at the value of our RRSP's last week. Until I had to for our mortgage renewal process. To say that I felt sick to my stomach was an understatement. Screw my stocks - my retirement is getting further and further away. Might have to get a second job at 7-11 to recover my losses.

A-friggin-men. Right on the head there Birchy.

I've found a few nice women's waders but I want just the pants because I'm forever rolling down the bib of my waders and now that I wear a fanny pack it's just too uncomfortable. That's why I tried the Dan Bailey's. Hopefully I can find just women's cut wading pants. I'm pretty sure when I bought Mike's that they had some for women. That will be next year's purchase....there's always something!

Wow...who knew that the Grey Goose was good for something other than martini's. Go figure. I'm gonna try the caulking one this weekend. I don't think I'll mess with the shampoo one - my luck my hair would turn green. A jigger is another word for a shotglass isn't it?

I bought Mike a pair of Dan Bailey's last year and he loves them. Actually I bought them for me, but apparently guys don't have hips or booty and long legs. I need to order myself a women's fit. And I will...they're worth the $$.

Gonna be warm out there today Max, whatcher problem?

You are absolutely right! My hands are wickedly dry and gross for 2 days after I fish the Bow. And I"m sure I've done all of the above. But I've also stood in the Bow in a pair of Columbia pants figuring I was OK cuz I was covered up, but then wondered why the scratch on my leg that was almost healed got mildly infected a day later. Coincidence? Me thinks not. All the crap that goes into that river - I won't be taking that chance again - it's waders for me. And it gave my old dog a wicked rash whenever he swam in it too. But he didn't care as much as I do LOL

What's in a green onion cake? I like green onions. And cake.

OK...so OJ's lawyer says the guilty verdict was "payback". I coulda seen this one coming a million miles away. Had the discussion with Mike this morning about what he/I would do if we sat on that jury. In the face of any credible evidence to support a guilty verdict, no matter how small, I would absolutely have voted to convict him. I absolutely would have been biased no matter what I claimed when being selected. I don't know how I couldn't consider his past crimes no matter how much I knew this case was a case unrelated. I don't know how any normal citizen could. What would you have done?

Ewwww.....even at 35 degrees on an August day, I would NEVER wet wade the Bow. Maybe in Canmore, but definitely not below the city (i.e. the POO plant). There's a reason you see most anglers in waders even if they're naked from the waist up MAX.

I know...but I like the "old" Taco better. Mmmmm....I like tacos.