Apple computer announced today that it has developed a computer chip that can store and play high fidelity music in women's breast implants.
Called iTit, the chip will cost between $499 and $699 depending on the speaker size.
This is considered to be a major breakthrough because women have always complained about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.
2. "WHERE is my SUNDAY paper?!", the irate customer calling the newspaper office loudly demanded, wanting to know where her Sunday edition was.
"Madam," said the newspaper employee, "today is Saturday. The Sunday paper is not delivered until tomorrow, on SUNDAY."
There was quite a long pause on the other end of the phone, followed by a sigh of resignation as she was heard to mutter, "Well **** ... I guess that's why no one was at church today."
3. A study recently conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle.
For example: if she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features.
However, if she is mentruating or menopausal, she tends to be more attracted to a man with duct tape over his mouth and a spear lodged in his chest with a bat up his ass while he is on fire.