A Texas oilman appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.
"Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asked.
Well, I can think of one thing," the oilman offered.
"Once, on a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota , I came upon a gang
of bikers, who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her
alone, but they wouldn't listen. So, I approached the largest and most
heavily tattooed biker and smacked him in his face, kicked his bike over,
ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground. I yelled, "Now, back
off!! Or I'll kick the living *hit out of all of you!"
Impressed, St. Peter asked, "When did all this happen?"
"Just a couple of minutes ago......”