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The Official 08/2099 Shack Nasties Thread (nsfw And Anything Goes)


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Thanks Gil....you've taken the place in my heart I used to hold dear for my secret love SJW. By the way....I like cash or jewellery - either of those would be suitable as an award :rulzz:

 

And, Rick, I think Tiana would be in the pro side of cutting off penises. In a way, all us women are.

 

Anyways...back to the adventures of Captain Weedy. He deserves an award for how hard he made me laugh on the last page.

Tough luck SJW!!!

 

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so tuna marlin or sharks captain weedy? i got some speys u can toss around...... maybe fish three flies and hook all 3 at teh same times... with a spey u can do that u no.... i can teach u too! and when are u freakin pickin me up... bin sittin atop my hows for a few days now with the laptop waiting... freaking cold up hear......

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so tuna marlin or sharks captain weedy? i got some speys u can toss around...... maybe fish three flies and hook all 3 at teh same times... with a spey u can do that u no.... i can teach u too! and when are u freakin pickin me up... bin sittin atop my hows for a few days now with the laptop waiting... freaking cold up hear......

:captn::

Max, sorry about the delay but there have been some minor details to clear up prior to sailing. I have had had several requests from members to be invited on board for the next sailing and have had to do a little “checking into” them prior to letting any of their asses on board. Well it turns out most all of them aren’t exactly suitable material. You see Max, for the men, there is a set of standards and rules that must be met in order to sail with Captain Weedy, the following being a few.

 

1. You shall be able to chew food with mouth closed.

2. You shall be able to have an uncontrollable lust for someone else every five minutes.

3. You shall be able to conceal the presence of a fart for long enough to remove yourself from the area and have it look as though it was the person standing next to you that laid the bomb.

4. You shall be clued in enough to realize that the nose hair that’s been hanging out for the last month and a half should probably either be tucked away neatly or cut off.

5. You shall be able to differentiate between toys and bedroom toys.

6. You shall be able to clean a bathroom or flush the toilet.

7. You shall be able to pick your nose, show it to your friends and say loudly, ‘’Mmm, never seen that shape before.’’

8. You shall be able lick your lips constantly, acting as if doing so is pleasurable.

9. You shall be able to lift your feet up so the vacuum can go underneath them.

10. You shall be able to understand that you ARE the lord of the dance. Never forget that.

11. You shall be able to be told the light bulb blew and not be found the next day with your dick stuck in the bulb socket.

12. You shall be able to strut.

13. You shall realize that you are better than everybody else and able to let them know so.

14. You shall be able to act like Mr. Flanders from The Simpsons.

15. You shall be able to act like a member of the opposite sex.

16. You shall be able to pretend to be from different ethnic backgrounds every hour, and when people ask you about it, answer like a hillbilly would.

 

 

So as you can see Max the rules are tough and not everyone that asks to come aboard is going to make it. Above and beyond the base set of rules there is also the Level 69 Security Check that everyone must pass. You wouldn’t believe what came up in that check. One guy, from Newfoundland if my memory serves me right, was been refused an invite on board because the Level 69 Security Check revealed he had been busted for stalking Pee Wee Herman. Another fellow, get this, was refused an invite because we determined he has been paying twice the amount of spousal support he was supposed to for the last ten years.

 

Anyways, you will be contacted with your pick up location today. Go fishing, do your usual thing today but don’t, under any circumstances, reveal the pick up location to anyone. The chopper will be in use today (I’m doing a little bit of long line whale fishing – show you when you get on board) so you will be picked up by Sidewinder Sally in one of the Harriers.

 

Don’t worry about the landing location as Sidewinder Sally is pilot capable of landing on a pin prick.

 

Click here if the movie does not play.

 

This is what she does for fun on the weekends:

(Disregard the commentators use of “he” as Sidewinder Sally is a “for hire” military pilot that I cannot be allowed to be identified in public.)

 

Be careful out there and remember Sidewinder Sally likes to land right on top.

Wear your good waders.

 

Captain Weedy out...

:captn::

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Dear Captain Weedy,

 

I can comply with all your conditions, including the security check. However, I doubt any of the "men" here will be able to sail with you as I'm sure, like all men, they are absolutely incapable of #6. I believe it to be genetically ingrained in them and irreversible. I think that's what all ships have a poop deck.

 

 

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