skearns

A man and his wife were woken at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push. "Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3:00 in the morning!" He slams the door and returns to bed. "Who was that?" asked his wife.. "Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers. "Did you help him?" she asks. "No, I did not, it is 3:00 in the morning and it is pouring rain out there!" "Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!" The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain. He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?" "Yes," comes back the answer. "Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband. "Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark. "Where are you?" asks the husband. "Over here on the swing," replied the drunk.

Ahh yes the Stanley Cup years in the 'chuck...seems just like....25 years ago.. Calgary Flames Team Canada contribution...only the sweetest gold medal pass ... Edmonton Oilers...not so much...

Point taken Rick but remember the pros ( NHL, NBA, Tennis) have only been participating in the Oly's for the past few Olympiads ( NHL started in Nagano in '98 I think). Prior to that the NHL sched rolled on with nary a bump during the Olympics. This is a never-ending conundrum...While we think most of the sports are played by amatuers in fact they are now paying prize money for World Cup ski/snowboard races albeit pittance compared to the real pros. Remember the '88 Canadian Olympic men's hockey team, a few lower level pros and assorted university players that got together a couple of months prior to the games and then unfortunately tried to compete on an uneven playing field with the Communist Bloc which were paying their players to train together all year. However on the other side are the Olympics not about being crowned the best participant in the entire world in a particular sport on a specific day?. And in the case of the high profile sports then the current pros are the best at their craft and should they then not be offered the opportunity to prove it? How about two different sets of Olympics...one set for those athletes making say under $250,000 per year at their sport, and another for those over that amount, no doping checks required, just show your T4 at the door.... Wait till Tiger shows up in Rio in 2016...lol...

ok, don't forget the refs were North American ( NHL I believe), it could have been a lot worse. Now for a fresh breath let's think about 4 years from now. Heard an interview with Cam Neely last night ( VP Bruins). Bettman has stated that he doubts the NHL players will be allowed to particpate in Sochi as the owners are risking too much for little gain...no building revenue for two weeks when there is no football or baseball south of the 49th, no revenue from all the jersey sales caused by what their employees are wearing, and possible injuries that may have an adverse affect on their teams playoff survival. Using the usual Bettman logic, he suggested that perhaps ICE hockey be moved to the summer games...remember the Canada Cups in August?...now I would think that is a little absurd, but I do remember seeing an outdoor rink at the Tower of London last time I was there...lol. There has also been talk of restricting the Olympic tourney to under 23 like soccer, however this would penalize teams with young stars such as Stamkos and teams without young stars ( Flames?) would benefit. I am now liking another suggestion whereby every fourth year we move the world junior tourney into the Olympics...same passion and a better chance for us to win methinks... As for the Germans tonight, remember they couldn't win on the road in WW2....sk

General Oly thoughts and observations: - the CTV consortium is wide spread and offers plenty of viewing ( even watched a hockey game with an aboriginal dialect play by play) but mixing the talking heads from TSN, Sportsnet and Brian Williams and Lloyd has made for some interesting moments...did you see Darren Dutyschyn cut in to the Bilodeau family interview with the Champagne?..Hilarious..Williams was stunned as DD poured the bubbly to give to Fredric Bilodeau ( first taste of alcohol), the sister ( possibly underage but she threw it back like a shooter pro) and then forgot a glass for Brian Williams - I have been to a lot of downhill races but have never seen as many spectacular crashes as yesterday in the women's race..and even more impressive is that the swede Anja Paerson got up and raced today after she flew and landed like eddie the eagle - can you imagine spending upwards of $100 or more for a ticket to an 18-0 women's hockey game? Should be like curling...shake hands when you have had enough of a beating.. - what is with all the VANOC glitches...was 7 years not enough time to think and test all this stuff thru? The weather cannot be helped ( remember the delays in '88?). But three ice cleaning machines and none of them work right?... -BIG BIG hockey game on Sunday

I bought my first pair of prescritpion MJ's last year, great glasses for everything, somehow misplaced them ( I convinced myself they were stolen), now wearing a cheaper prescript sunglasses until my wife cools off. I too have been contemplating surgery but as Rick points out they can't fix both so you are either putting glasses on to see far ( current state) or putting glasses on to read ( post surgery state), either way maturity is a bitch... And I have been to a few Jimmy Buffet shows ( Toronto and Dallas), they are like the best house party you have ever been at x 10...wasted away again...sk ( don't remember seeing Gary Busey at either show)

Ok, for those not of an advanced age to remember number 4...here are a couple of quick facts...As a defenceman Robert Orr won the following...Calder Memorial Trophy (1967) NHL First All-Star Team (1968, 1969, 1970, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1974, 1975) James Norris Trophy (1968, 1969, 1970, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1974,1975) NHL Plus/Minus Leader (1969, 1970, 1971, 1972, 1974, 1975) Art Ross Trophy (1970, 1975) Hart Trophy (1970, 1971, 1972) Conn Smythe Trophy (1970, 1972) Lester B. Pearson Award (1975) Canada Cup All-Star Team (1976) Canada Cup MVP (1976) In 1971, one of the six years he won the plus/minus, he was + 124....current NHL leader is a certain fun loving Russian who is +28 Defence rests....

Rick had been in Police work for 25 years. Finally sick of the stress, he quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Alaska as far from humanity as possible. He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it's total peace and quiet. After six months or so of almost total isolation, someone knocks on his door. He opens it and a huge, bearded man in a red plaid shirt is standing there. 'Name's Cliff, your neighbour from forty miles up the road. Having a Christmas party Friday night. Thought you might like to come at about 5:00....' 'Great', says Rick, 'after six months out here I'm ready to meet some local folks. Thank you.' As Cliff is leaving, he stops. 'Gotta warn you. Be some drinking'.' 'Not a problem' says Rick... 'After 25 years in the business, I can drink with the best of 'em'. Again, the big man starts to leave and stops. ' More 'n' likely gonna be some fighting' too.' 'Well, I get along with people, I'll be all right! I'll be there. Thanks again.' 'More'n likely be some wild sex, too,' 'Now that's really not a problem' says Rick, warming to the idea. 'I've been all alone for six months! I'll definitely be there. By the way, what should I wear?' 'Don't much matter. Just gonna be the two of us.

Try 2nd hand sports stores...I know the one at Edm trail and 20th ave n.e. has a few tobaggans and sleds...

Thanks headscan, I stand corrected....I am not nor never will be a Mac user, and now that after several mergers I find myself as an HP employee, it's just as likely to remain that way..sk

Sun, My 16 and 14 year old daughters each got one last Christmas...and the 11 yr old is now asking...tough life they live...but remember they can then connect via wi-fi to the internet so ensure the proper internet security practices are followed on the Itouch as well as your desktop....i.e. content blocking, virus protection etc...you can also get a bit of break on the price by ordering refurbished devices from the apple online store...we have got a few of those and they work fine...sk

Apparantly he attended his english composition classes at Stanford between keggers...or someone did for him... This statement from Tiger Woods was posted on his website: I have let my family down and I regret those transgressions with all of my heart. I have not been true to my values and the behaviour my family deserves. I am not without faults and I am far short of perfect. I am dealing with my behaviour and personal failings behind closed doors with my family. Those feelings should be shared by us alone. Although I am a well-known person and have made my career as a professional athlete, I have been dismayed to realize the full extent of what tabloid scrutiny really means. For the last week, my family and I have been hounded to expose intimate details of our personal lives. The stories in particular that physical violence played any role in the car accident were utterly false and malicious. Elin has always done more to support our family and shown more grace than anyone could possibly expect. But no matter how intense curiosity about public figures can be, there is an important and deep principle at stake which is the right to some simple, human measure of privacy. I realize there are some who don't share my view on that. But for me, the virtue of privacy is one that must be protected in matters that are intimate and within one's own family. Personal sins should not require press releases and problems within a family shouldn't have to mean public confessions. Whatever regrets I have about letting my family down have been shared with and felt by us alone. I have given this a lot of reflection and thought and I believe that there is a point at which I must stick to that principle even though it's difficult. I will strive to be a better person and the husband and father that my family deserves. For all of those who have supported me over the years, I offer my profound apology. Helluva a golfer if he can get married, father two kids, party like Elvis in Vegas and still win six tournaments this year....

Best sign at the game: You can put your Grey Cup in my Regina

Well I as a big Stamps fan I am not surprised, the warning signs of inconsistency have been there all year...yesterday the stamps sucked…poor special teams, loudmouth secondary that chokes when needed, undisciplined penalties EVERY DAMN GAME, poor play calling ( 2nd and 1 on the riders 30 and we don’t give it to Joffrey?and he only got 9 touches all game and delivered on those), and of course evil hank shows up right on cue….oh well we will party like it’s the brier, and cheer for the combine pilots to bring those poutine munching, gitane smoking, brador swilling French pretenders to defeat…like when the entire Wheat-filled province cheered for the 3-legged horse last year…sk

Did someone say cake...seriously , there are people that think they earned the right by living fairly long that they shouldn't have to pay $25 a year to fish? That's like what 9 holes of golf once ( with the seniors discount)? A penny a cast?..Come on, if you lived that long you probably have enough empties lying around to cover the fee. I know I do, and why do I have to wait till I am 65 to get my discounts when golf and curling designate 50 as a senior?... whether it is H1N1, guide licensing, Neil Waugh's curmudgeonly ranting on anyone living south of the Saskatch river, one thing that will never change in Alberta is the sport of bitching about the government and then voting them back in as we have for the last "65" years...the entertainment value of this board continues to rise...stay the course...(btw Wolfie love the scary avatar and the italics...rock on)....

A good friend and neighbor who is a veteran member of the Calgary Police Service advised me that the Radar Camera's are set to activate at 13 km over the posted limited. Of course I received a nice photo of the rear end of my vehicle this week with a notation that I was doing 66 in a 50 kmh zone...$103....I am pretty sure I can see my wife in the driver's seat...lol...

Without invoking the NIMBY argument I am not sure there is a difference between raising chickens or raising homing pigeons. As a bird hunter I obviously have no affinity for any of our feathered friends. However there is gentleman in my Calgary neigborhood who has a fairly large pigeon coop on his property backing on to the alley. While it is a few blocks from our home and therefore we do not hear or smell the fowl neighbors, it is kind of neat seeing them fly around the area in formation during the summer. And until a few years ago there was a home in Highwood that kep two miniature horses in the backyard in a little red barn. They are gone now but my youngest daughter used to love driving down that alley to see the "guard ponies"....I don't think the chicken thing will fly in Cowtown...sk

I think I was previously alerted to this site from someone on FFC...but to better understand the shopping psyche check this out....www.peopleofwalmart.com

Speakin of texans tex, Jerry Jeff Walker does it for me, missed him at Ranchmans a few years back. Also John Prine is all over my ipod, Playing here October 19th..( our anniversary but my bride is not a fan, I'll tell her how good the show was)...

Ahhh BellaCoola, havn't been there for over ten years but we used to go yearly, one of my friend's parents actually homesteaded there. Last trip ( 1995) 5 buddies and I rocketed down that one lane goat path in a motorhome. Back then we fished big kitimat lures for springs in June and July. Never had much luck but I love the country. Still hard on myself for not buying an old house with 6 acres on the BC river near Hangensborg for $25k. And while I have never used a spey rod this old dog loves new tricks...sk

Jimmy Buffett Mike Weir Jeremy Witherspoon

Now that would have been an instant youtube classic....well done showing the patience you did...in the immortal words of Dean Wormer.." fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life son"....

Gorby?...lol...havn't heard that term since bumming around Banff in the '80's...definition...tourist, newbie, n'er doweller, rubber necking freakazoid...you will know one when you see one...I may daytrip up the FTR on Saturday, I'll update later with any unusual events...

Well might as "wade" in... -not sure how anyone can expect to have a secret spot within an hour of 1 million humans - while I too get slightly disappointed when I get to my destination and someone beat me to it, take it as opportunity to find a new favourite honey hole or get up earlier or stay later - with the numbers of fisherman declining and most of us practicing C&R, the number of fish per river/stream should stay relatively constant barring natural or unnatural disasters and thus will be there for you the next time by - if the numbers of fishermen is truly declining then the local industry will be relying more on tourists types who get their info from the mags and internet. And yes without them our favourite little flyshops, small town motels and roadside diners will suffer. The big box stores will always survive due to their expansive selection and inventory. - as far as them damn easterners ( not sure what I am 25 years in Ont, 25 years in AB) I know the thread was in jest, just keep in mind if you are not First Nations then all our forefathers came here from somewhere else. - I'm thinking this internet fad might stick around...somewhere someone is sitting on the bank of a stream, reading this post on his blackberry while he marks the exact location with his GPS - pay it forward

I say...30 days in the Hole...