Excerpt from "Fly Snobs Not Allowed"
Photos and Story by
Al Noraker
So, here we go. If you answer, “yes” to seven or more of the following questions drop this magazine and run to the nearest shop and spend your entire weekly paycheck on some techno-snob shirt in teal or peach and stock up on more gadgets to hang from your bulging vest. Warning – When you get your copy of Fly Fusion's winter issue Do Not look at a single photo in the first feature article as they might elicit an immediate and violent response from those that fail this test.
Here we go….
#1 – You spent more than $600 on your last fly rod three years ago and it has never been out of its comfy little case.
#2 – Your vest has at least 12 different tools hanging from it, most of which you’ve never used or don’t even know how to use.
#3 - Your fly reel still has the same backing and fly line on it that was carefully put there by that cute little fly shop in Aspen while you were shopping for shorts impregnated with bug stuff.
#4 – When you travel on a fly-fishing vacation, you also take your golf clubs and tennis racquet.
#5 – It’s too cold to fish if you have to wear more than one extra layer of clothing under your L.L. Bean shirt and you never fish if moisture is falling from the sky in any form.
#6 – You’ve never worn out a pair of wading boots.
#7 – You still think the sport of fly-fishing first began after the movie “A River Runs Through It” first hit the big screen.
#8 – You believe Ted Turner is a native of Montana and the rest of us are just visitors in his state and to his opulent Flying D Ranch.
#9 – Native trout are those stocked from a local hatchery.
#10 – Carp are bottom feeding trash fish that smell bad, look bad and you would never want one of those critters on the end of your fly rod!