What Would You Do If You Only Had 6 Months To Live?

[LynnF]

This is a true story – written by me, experienced by me. Today - one of the longest days I can remember.

 

Today I found out that a good friend is going to die. Leanne is 32 years old, is a single mom to a 7 year old boy and a 5 year old girl and has terminal pancreatic cancer. She is the funniest, liveliest, bubbliest, most optimistic person I know. Even in the face of major surgery this morning she had her sense of humour about her telling everyone that she was going under the knife to get her tooma removed (in her best Arnold Schwarzenegger voice).

 

This nightmare began a few short weeks ago when she got admitted to hospital with severe diabetic related blood sugar problems she knew nothing about (her blood sugar peaked at 452). She was so jaundiced that she couldn’t see. Yet she still found a way to hit on the male orderly. She got rushed into emergency surgery to have a stent put into her liver and that cured her, temporarily, of many things. After a week of being in hospital she fought to get released so she could get home to her children who were being looked after by a work associate’s mother. Her parents had yet to fly in from Nevada. That was 2 weeks ago. Since then, her parents have flown out and she has been to see a surgeon who told her what was going to happen. What they hoped was going to happen. He told her that he would operate and either remove the tumour entirely or, if they couldn’t do that, remove part of it and then she would recuperate for 6 weeks and then go to Seattle for another 6 weeks for chemotherapy. She lives in Vancouver, Washington right now so that would mean 6 more weeks away from her “babies” as she calls them. That, however, is not how things happened today. Despite all of the hope and optimism and prayers, she was told today she was going to die.

 

When they opened her up in the operating room, they found the cancer to be so bad that they just closed her back up. The size of a normal pancreatic tumour is, apparently, the size of a pea. Hers was the size of a golf ball. They think she’s had this cancer for over 3 years now. They told her she’d have 2 months to live with no chemotherapy and 6-12 months to live if she did some treatment. How does one decide what to do when given those options?

 

My eyes have not been dry since I heard the news. My heart aches for her and her babies and how the world will lose her spirit and her children will grow up without their mother. I wonder what will happen to them as there are issues with the father. Children should not be without their mothers to raise them. Women should not die when they’re just 32. Especially women like Leanne.

 

I haven’t mentioned this, but I’ve never met Leanne. I’ve talked to her a lot by email, on the phone and on another bulletin board we belong to. I’ve “known” her for over 4 years and, despite the fact that we only met in the virtual world, I consider her a dear, good friend who I am heartbroken for. The power of internet friendships should not be understated. I will be booking a plane ticket to see her because I feel I must. I will share my tears with her, my condolences and my sympathies. I will also share a lot of laughs with her because she will still have that in her despite the knowledge of her fate.

 

I will honour her by reflecting on my own life and the many blessings and good fortunes I have – ones that she will not live long enough to experience for herself.

 

I know you don’t know my friend Leanne but please say an extra prayer for her children tonight and honour her by making someone laugh, doing something kind for someone or by simply appreciating the gift of good health and prosperity that you have – even if you had thought you don’t.

 

Lynn

[reevesr1]

Lynn,

So sorry to hear about your friend. Wish I could say something meaningful to make it seem better, but as you know, nothing will really help right now.

 

I do know why you twp get along so well. You are certainly kindred spirits. When describing her outlook on life, you could be describing yourself. It is very telling of your character that you are getting on a plane to go see someone you have never met face to face. It will be a blessing to both of you to actually meet, albeit under brutal circumstances.

 

Prayers sent for you, her and her children.

 

This should be a lesson to all of us to enjoy it while we can. You truly never know.

[ladystrange]

i'm so sorry Lynn. I know we talked a little about it the night we went to the concert. unfortunately this is something i see on a daily basis and the prognosis is rarely good with pancreatic cancer. i know words are never enough and there really was a reason i said i hope you get out to see her within a month or so if you could.

 

bless you for going to to meet her and offer your strenght. maybe there will be a miracle in the prayers we send.

[Snowwolf]

If I had 6 months to live I would spend as much time with my family and friends as I could.

[mwalters]

I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. Whether you have yet to meet her face to face is irrelevant, I have made several good friends on-line. One I have known for a few years & never met, but I would do what I could to help if needed. As a single dad I have thoughts of what would happen to my daughter if something happened to me.

 

I will keep your friend, her children & you in my thoughts & prayers. Together, hopefully we can all help to ease the sadness.

[hydropsyche]

If I ever found myself in Leanne's position (and we all are. We never know if we're going to live to see another day), I hope I had the strength she's showing. Living every day as it was meant to be lived. Another gift from God to be enjoyed as best as it could.

 

She sounds like quite a woman. Thanks for posting. A lot of thoughts will be directed towards her and her kids.

[bigbowtrout]

Cancer really sucks as I am watching it take my Mom who just turned 60. I feel your pain Lynn but she is lucky to have such a good friend.

I wish her and her family all the best

[Hawgstoppah]

Sad news. Thoughts + prayers are with ya.

 

If I only had 6 months I'd quit work and fish it out to the last day. Without a doubt.

[Gary]

Lynn, very sad news . Went through a similiar situation just over a decade ago. It is unfair that such a tragedy should happen to young family and a young friend. Do your best to enjoy your time with Leanne and help her enjoy life as best you can. Take care.

[fishinhogdaddy]

For those of you who think life owes them something....think again. Life is a gift and a blessing. For every problem you personally face, their are others whom have problems that are unimaginable as Lynn has eloquently related to us. Those who may respond "I know how you feel", can't possibly know what someone feels inside their own skin. All of us have faced challenges in our life. Decisions on how to cope with those challenges is what makes you grow as a human being. I work at a Cancer Centre, I see people on a daily basis who are facing the most challenging times of their lives. Some staring certain death in the face, laughing, smiling and carrying on with the zest of life others cannot comprehend. Others scared, angry and unsure of how long they will be on this earth. It is unfortunate that most of us don't take the time to "Smell the roses" while there is still time.

Take the time today, you never know...

My prayers are with you and your friends Lynn.

FHD