The Night Before Christmas

[darthwader]

OK... here is why my boss should keep me busy on slow days at work... my apologies in advance for the bad rhymes...

 

The Night Before Christmas - Fly Fishing Style

 

Twas the night before Christmas

When I left my house

And I sat by the river

Watching the grouse

 

My five weight was placed

In a cottonwood with care

In hopes that some winter trout

Soon would be there

 

The stoneflies were nestled

In their river bottom bed

While visions of hungry trout

Danced in my head

 

And Tony in his Neoprenes

And I in my gore

Had just settled down bankside

And started to snore

 

When out in the water

There arose such a clatter

As a trout sprung from the river

And returned with a splatter

 

Away to the cottonwood

I flew like a flash

Snagged my waders on barbed wire

Made a 4 inch gash

 

The sun on the breast

Of the river below

Made it look like July

Though we were knee deep in snow

 

When what to my wondering eyes

Should appear

But a 26 inch brown trout

And a river bottom beer

 

With a flick of his tail

So lively and quick

I reached for my fly rod

I gave it a flick

 

More rapid than eagles

He bolted and split

There I stood standing

My language explicit

 

You moron, you jerk

You dummy, you turd

How could you you imbicile

You big freakin nerd

 

To the top of the run

And back through the seam

He dashed away dashed away

Like a bad fishing dream

 

As the wind picked back up

Like a hurricane fly

I raised up my arms

And looked up to the sky

 

So back towards Tony

I started to walk

Another fish missed

I’d rather not talk

 

And then in a twinkling

I heard from the right

The rings of a trout rise

And caught it in my sight

 

As I drew up my rod

And was turning around

Up from the bank

Tony came with a bound

 

The trout rose up again

And continued to eat

Midges I presume

As I positioned my feet

 

A pink stripe on his gill plate

And black spots on his back

He looked like a trophy

Or was I just on crack

 

His eyes saw my midge

And he turned with a flash

He rose up to grab it

And rolled with a splash

 

His droll trouty mouth

With it’s big giant kipe

Grabbed my midge quickly

I let out a yipe

 

The bend in my rod

I gritted my teeth

And the fish raced in circles

And went down beneath

 

But winter had made him

Less lively and strong

He gave up quite quickly

The fight wasn’t long

 

He was chubby and plump

A right jolly old trout

Tony took my picture

Kissing his snout

 

With a blink of his eye

And a shake of his head

I let him return

To the smooth river bed

 

With a flick of his tail

And a splash in my face

He drifted back down

To that most sacred place

 

And as I tidied my line

And rechecked my hook

I looked over at Tony

And realized he shook

 

It was Christmas after all

And my family was waiting

So we went back to the truck

Without much debating

 

But as we got back on Deerfoot

And the river drifted from sight

Merry Christmas to all

May your trout always fight!!

[ggp]

That was just great. :lol: :lol:

[Lundvike]

Excellent well worth the read. thank you for postng it.

[grannyknot]

I like!

If I were your boss, I would consider that time well spent.

[walker1]

That was awesome!

signed

Rob Skywalker

[snakeman]

Haha that's great, good stuff.

[admin]

That is Awesome.

[Brownstone]

gooder..well done

[troutlover]

tottaly rad.

[reevesr1]

I really enjoyed that. I know it's not the easiest thing to print something you've written. You should be proud of that!

[PaleMorningDunce]

I like!

If I were your boss, I would consider that time well spent.

 

Damn, I wish you were my boss, GK! Are you hiring???

[adc]

He's a poet

He don't know it

 

Good job!!

[hydropsyche]

I don't know why you wasted that on us. It should be published for $$$.

[Hawgstoppah]

No kidding. That was awesome. Thanks for sharing!