DonAndersen Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 Guys/Gals, Health Question and Answer Session Another way of looking at life, food and diet and everything nice. Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true? A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it. Don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap. Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables? A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn, and what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100 percent of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products. Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake? A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine. That means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up! Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio? A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc. Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program? A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good! Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you? A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you? Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle? A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach. Q: Is chocolate bad for me? A: Are you crazy? HELLO ...... Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel good food around! Q: Is swimming good for your figure? A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me. Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle? A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape! Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets. And for Beer!!! A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers." WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not. As for Wine!!! Water and Wine Education It has been scientifically proven that if we drink 1 litre of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli (E. coli) bacteria found in faeces. In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of Poo. However, we do not run that risk when drinking wine (or rum, whiskey, beer or other liquors) because alcohol has to go through a distillation process of boiling, filtering and fermenting. WATER = Poo WINE = HEALTH Free yourself of Poo, drink WINE!!! It is better to drink wine and talk sh!t than to drink water and be full of sh!t. There is no need to thank me for this valuable information, I am doing it as a public service. Quote
Taco Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 I'm all about that........... as a quick aside; what the hell does "Durka Durka Durka" mean? Quote
darrinhurst Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 I like how you think. I'm down for that diet. Quote
Teck71 Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 Hear ya, I can be all over that like a fat kid on a smartie! Quote
LynnF Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 That's great.....thanks Don. As if I needed even more justification/reasons to drink wine. Quote
LynnF Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 I'm all about that........... as a quick aside; what the hell does "Durka Durka Durka" mean? Mohamed Jihad Quote
Pythagoras Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 I'm all about that........... as a quick aside; what the hell does "Durka Durka Durka" mean? Team America: World Police" This is the foundation phrase upon which all terrorist speech is based. Quote
Tungsten Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 derka derka mohammed jihad - 1 definition - The phrase Muslims use when they are about to go on a suicide bomb mission.I think Lynn may be a terrorist ,glad i didn't eat any of those pancakes. Quote
Taco Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 Them was good pancakes and I don't think she's a terrorist, Mike 'n the dogs seem to like her.....little crazy maybe but ya need that to survive livin' 'n, workin' in Kalgree Quote
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