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Stories About Crap


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I used to work in the field for a large Oilfield Service Company. One of the company legends involves taking a crap outside of a lease. In many cases, there was no bathroom anywhere near the wellsite, which caused the occasional trip into the woods. In winter, this also included lots of snow.

 

On day, an operator leaves the truck to go take care of business. He walks out into the snowy woods and drops his coveralls, being very careful to make sure no part of his very nice winter coveralls, or worse yet, hood are hanging behind him. He finishes his business and does what we all do, look behind him. To discover nothing. No hole in the snow, no evidence at all of what he knows should be there. He then begins to carefully check his coveralls to see if the unthinkable had happened, but no evidence of any unwanted messes. He is very unsure what to do as he knows it has to be somewhere, and he still suspects the coveralls. As he is standing there perplexed, he hears a slight snicker from behind him. He looks and standing behind a big tree is his engineer holding a long handled shovel he had stashed in his truck for such an occasion!

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Crappy story 2:

 

Operator walks into the woods to do his thing. Looks behind him afterward to discover he had not fully moved his hood out of the way. These hoods snapped onto our winter coveralls (and were the envy of the oilpatch back in those days), so in much disgust he unsnaps the hood and waking back to the truck throws the offending hood into the flare pit. He tells no one what had happened as he was a bit embarrassed.

 

Several hours later, the engineer was getting his ticket signed when the drilling engineer stated "we did not think your little joke was all the @#$@#$ funny! The engineer says "what joke?" and is told how one of the rig hands had found the hard hat cover down the slope into the flare pit and waked down to retrieve it. Picked it up and was rewarded with the contents spilling on him a bit. At least he didn't put it on his head!! That really would have been funny!

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Biting my tongue, Rick! But wanting to here that you are in fact the person in question in one or both of those stories!! :)

 

P

 

Story 1:

Has always had a bit of an urban legend feel to me. Very funny, but hard to see it really getting pulled off. It was attributed to a legendary engineer who pulled many, many practical jokes. I met him several years ago and asked him about this story. He said it wasn't him, that he heard it was this other engineer. So it may be true, but I have no direct proof.

 

Story2:

Totally true. It was my operator it happened to (he was the crapper), but I wasn't on the truck at the time, a buddy of mine was. He said the drilling guy was very mad and never believed they had not done it on purpose.

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But I do seem to recall an extremely agitated relief driller after discovering his highly anticipated exhaust manifold dinner had been replaced by a neatly wrapped foil package of tasty moose turds.........happened 4 days in a row......

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I saw an aussie dude in India go ass over tea kettle into some elephant *hit. Not quite as elaborate as ricks there, but a shitty story none the less.

 

B hurt attracts bird *hit.... just saying.

 

Let me guess, uuuuuuuu shitty deal brad.

:$*%&: ........

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