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Mother's Day Is Coming Up


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I know that most of you will already know this, but I feel it incumbent upon me to remind those of you who are new to marriage/relationships and want to stay that way, that Mother's Day is on Sunday. Following are the top ten things NOT to say on Mother's Day:

 

1. "You are not my mother, why should I buy you a present".

2. "I bought my mother the nicest gift. You? Oh....I don't know what the kids bought you".

3. "Don't think of this new fridge as your Mother's Day gift....have one of the imported beers in the fridge and have a great day"

4, "I'm sorry you don't feel like taking up golf today honey. Since the tee time is already booked and paid for, mind if I call my brother?"

5. "I feel the best present I can give you on Mother's Day is peace and quiet and well deserved time for yourself away from the stress of dealing with me. I'm going fishing now but be sure to call me if the kids start to get on your nerves too much".

6. "The kids and I really want to show our love and support for you on Mother's Day so I have bought us all a Jenny Craig pasta dish and brownie for your Mother's Day dinner. I know you wouldn't want to regret giving up your diet".

7. "For a change this year I decided to prolong the joy of Mother's Day and will bring your flowers home with me from work tomorrow. As it turns out they're half price so you can afford to buy those shoes you've had your eye on."

8. "I'm sorry you don't think a hammock is a good Mother's Day Present - it's a hammock built for 2 - I really was thinking of you"

9. "Wow....sure hope there's no hockey on TV on Mother's Day - I'd really hate to miss out on any of the celebration"

10. "It's really too bad that your mother couldn't join us for dinner on Mother's Day. I have 2 gift certificates to Zeller's Restaurant if you want to go take her out".

 

And - if none of that worked - brunch, flowers, card and present is what you need to do. And if you're late on your brunch reso's Executive Royal Inn in the N.E. does a mean brunch and still has room. Don't ask me how I know.

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Or if you want a really good laugh on Sunday come watch me run a five Km in honour of my Mom who passed away in June.

Instead of a water station halfway my team has set up a Dark Rum and Coke station with Crave cup cakes.

 

If anyone has a defib I can borrow send me a PM

 

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