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A Couple Of Jokes


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A friend of mine sent these to me. I thought they were pretty good.

 

Kent and three of his buddies have gone fishing every Saturday for nearly forty years. One Saturday, the guys are fishing at the boat launch in FC when a funeral processional drives by on 22x. Well, Kent runs out of the river lays down his rod, takes off his lucky hat and places it over his heart. This processional is huge and takes nearly five minutes to pass. Once it passes, Kent gets back in the river, puts his hat on and casts out without saying a word. Needless to say his buddies are floored by his actions. One of em finally speaks up and says, "that sure was a respectful thing you did there when they went by." Kent replied, "It seems the least I could do seeing as how I've been married to the woman for over forty years!"

 

 

Her Skirt Was Too Tight ....

 

As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware

that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the

height of the first step of the bus.

 

Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she

reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this

would give her enough slack to raise her leg. She tried to take the

step, only to discover that she couldn't!

 

So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to

unzip her skirt a little more, and for the second time attempted the

step. Once again, much to her chagrin, she could not raise her leg.

 

With a little smile to the driver, she again reached behind to unzip

a little more and again was unable to take the step.

 

About this time, a large Texan (A.K.A. rickr) who was standing behind her picked her

up easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus.

 

She went ballistic and turned to the would-be Samaritan and

screeched, "How dare you touch my body! I don't even know who you

are!"

 

The Texan smiled and drawled, "Well, ma'am, normally I would agree

with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kind'a figured

we was friends

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