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A Joke


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A man was walking home alone late one foggy night, when behind him he hears:

 

BUMP... BUMP... BUMP...

 

Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him.

 

BUMP... BUMP... BUMP...

 

Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him

 

FASTER... FASTER... BUMP... BUMP... BUMP...

 

He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him. However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket clapping

 

clappity-BUMP... clappity-BUMP... clappity-BUMP...

 

On his heels, the terrified man runs. Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.

With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door. Bumping and clapping toward him.

The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup! Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket... and,

 

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The coffin stops.

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Good one....lol

 

Here's another....

 

Dear Abby,

 

I've been suspecting for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. There are the usual signs; phone calls that hang up when I answer, evenings out with "the girls" and when I ask who they are she just says, "Some girls from work, you wouldn't know them.".

 

I've tried staying up late to watch when she comes home, but I usually end up falling asleep on the couch before she turns up and miss her. The other night, I decided to hide in the garage and get a good view as she pulls into the drive way. I have a real good spot in the corner where I keep my fishing gear. Late that night, I hunkered down behind my gear, getting a great view of the driveway as she gets dropped of by "the girls". While I was hiding, I had some time to look around and noticed that I had a hairline fracture in the blank of my new fly rod. She never did show up before I fell asleep again and missed another opportunity.

 

So here's my question, can I fix that myself, or should I take it back to the shop that I bought it from?

 

Sincerely,

 

Hooked.

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