The 'who Cares What The Thread Title Is, Everybody Post A Joke Anyways' Thread..

[Taco]

Two old ladies, Mabel and Maude, are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain.

Mabel pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.

"What the hell is that?" asks Maude.

"A condom," replies Mabel. "This way my cigarette doesn't get wet."

"Where did you get it?" asks Maude.

"You can get them at any drugstore," says Mabel.

The next day, Maude hobble herself into the local drugstore and tells the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.

The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at Maude kind of strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years old), but very delicately asks what brand of condom she prefers.

"Doesn't matter, Sonny," says Maude, "as long as it fits on a Camel."

[troutlover]

Government Investigates Rancher

 

 

 

 

The Idaho Department of Employment, Division of Labor Standards claimed a small rancher was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to investigate him.

 

GOV’T AGENT: “I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them.”

 

RANCHER: ”Well, there’s my hired hand who’s been with me for 3 years. I pay him $200 a week plus free room and board.

 

Then there’s the mentally challenged guy. He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night so he can cope with life.

 

He also sleeps with my wife occasionally.”

 

GOV’T AGENT: “That’s the guy I want to talk to - the mentally challenged one.”

 

RANCHER: “That would be me.”