Too Funny

[fishpro]

My Wife Has Destroyed My Fishing Pleasure

 

Saturday morning I got up early, dressed quietly, made my lunch, grabbed the

dog, slipped quietly into the garage to hook the boat up to the truck, and

proceeded to back out into a torrential down pour.

 

The wind was blowing 50 mph. I pulled back into the garage, turned on the

radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad throughout the day.

 

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.

There I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and

whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.'

 

My loving wife of 20 yrs replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is out

fishing in that s***?'

 

I still don't know to this day if she was joking, but I have stopped

fishing.

 

[jksnijders]

 

 

Lol..

[maxwell]

brutal!

[Weedy1]

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected:

 

a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee and a 1 lb. package of bacon.

 

As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, “You must be single.”

 

The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict’s intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said “Well, you know what, you’re absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?”

 

The drunk replied, “Cause you’re ugly.”

[jksnijders]

 

Thats awesome.. Haven't heard that one in a while.

 

 

[walker1]

Those are awesome.

 

A women tells her husband that they need to start saving some more $$$$ so his nice little pasttime of cold beers and hockey will have to stop. To much money she tells him.

 

So, this goes on for a while and hubby has no more beers with his sports.

 

Then, one day, he finds a receit for 80 bucks worth of make up and fragrance and brings it to her attention. She, quite bubbly states that these are products she feels will make herself LOOK NICE for him. Hubby, in disgust replies, " What the hell do you think the beer was for?????"