reevesr1 Posted August 10, 2009 Share Posted August 10, 2009 Back in the day there was a geologist who was working up in the mountains on ground he had staked. He had set up a small camp at the base down by a river and every day he hiked up to his claims and spent his days mapping and sampling. A rancher down by the river noticed the geologist hiking across his property every day at dawn and coming back at night. When winter came he saw the geologist return to his canvas tent at dusk and light the stove. One particularly cold morning he stopped the geologist and invited him to live in the ranch. He argued that there was no mapping and sampling to be done with all the snow, and as long as he helped out there were 3 square meals a day and a warm bed in the bunkhouse. The geologist accepted. Come spring the geologist headed out back up to work on his claims, but word of a new discovery lead him elsewhere. About 2 years later the geologist found himself coming back to his claims. While buying supplies in the nearby town he noticed the rancher's daughter pushing a baby carriage down the street. He walked up beside the stroller and looked at the child. The child had red hair. He had red hair. He stopped the rancher's daughter and asked "Is this child mine??" The rancher's daughter nodded in confirmation. The geologist went on to say "You know I'm awfully fond of you... why didn't you tell me you were pregnant before I left the ranch??" The rancher's daughter looked pensive for a second before explaining: "Well, you see, it came down to a family discussion... and the long and short of it is that we decided it would be better to have a bastard in the family than a geologist Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Castuserraticus Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 Back in the day there was a geologist who was working up in the mountains on ground he had staked. He had set up a small camp at the base down by a river and every day he hiked up to his claims and spent his days mapping and sampling. A rancher down by the river noticed the geologist hiking across his property every day at dawn and coming back at night. When winter came he saw the geologist return to his canvas tent at dusk and light the stove. One particularly cold morning he stopped the geologist and invited him to live in the ranch. He argued that there was no mapping and sampling to be done with all the snow, and as long as he helped out there were 3 square meals a day and a warm bed in the bunkhouse. The geologist accepted. Come spring the geologist headed out back up to work on his claims, but word of a new discovery lead him elsewhere. About 2 years later the geologist found himself coming back to his claims. While buying supplies in the nearby town he noticed the rancher's daughter pushing a baby carriage down the street. He walked up beside the stroller and looked at the child. The child had red hair. He had red hair. He stopped the rancher's daughter and asked "Is this child mine??" The rancher's daughter nodded in confirmation. The geologist went on to say "You know I'm awfully fond of you... why didn't you tell me you were pregnant before I left the ranch??" The rancher's daughter looked pensive for a second before explaining: "Well, you see, it came down to a family discussion... and the long and short of it is that we decided it would be better to have a bastard in the family than a geologist Boo Hiss Obviously an altered engineer joke. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reevesr1 Posted August 12, 2009 Author Share Posted August 12, 2009 Engineers always get the girl. Ever watch Star Trek? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Sundancefisher Posted August 12, 2009 Share Posted August 12, 2009 My favorites Four married guys go fishing. After an hour, the following conversation took place: The Geologist: "You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out fishing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend." The Geophysicist: "That's nothing, I had to promise my wife that I will build her a new deck for the pool." The Engineer: "Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I will remodel the kitchen for her." They continue to fish when they realized that the fourth guy has not said a word. So they asked him." You haven't said anything about what you had to do to be able to come fishing this weekend. What's the deal?" The Landman: "I just set my alarm for 5:30 am. When it went off, I shut off my alarm, gave the wife a nudge and said, "Fishing or Sex" and she said, "Wear sun-screen". Clever Newfie A Newfie was stopped by a game warden recently with two ice chests Full of fish. He was leavin' a cove well-known for its fishing. The game warden asked the man, 'Do you have a license to catch those fish?' 'Naw, sir', replied the Newfie. 'I ain't got none of dem dere Licenses. I don't need one . You must understand, by, dese here is My pet fish.' 'Pet fish?' 'Yeah. Dat's de trut' bye. Every night, I take dese fish down to de Cove and let 'em swim 'round for awhile. Den, when I whistles, dey Jump right back into dese here ice chests and I takes 'em home.' 'That's a bunch of hooey! Fish can't do that.' The Newfie looked at the warden for a moment and then said, 'It's de Trut Mr. Government Man. I'll show ya. It really works.' 'O.K.', said the warden. 'I've got to see this!' The Newfie stood on a rock and poured the fish into the cove. Then he stood and looked out to sea. After several minutes, the warden says, 'Well?' 'Well, what?', says the Newf. The warden says, 'When are you going to call them back?' 'Call who back?' 'The FISH', replied the warden! 'What fish?', replied the Newfie. Moral of the story: We may not be as smart as some city slickers on De mainland but by the lard tundering jaysus we ain't as dumb as some Government employees. Why fishing is better than sex.... You don't have to hide your fishing magazines. It's perfectly acceptable to pay a professional to fish with you once in a while. Your fishing partner doesn't get upset about people you fished with long ago. It's perfectly respectable to fish with a total stranger. When you see a really good fisher person, you don't have to feel guilty about imagining the two of you fishing in a boat together. If your regular fishing partner isn't available, he/she won't object if you fish with someone else. Nobody will ever tell you that you will go blind if you fish by yourself. You can have a fishing calendar on your wall at the office, tell fishing jokes, and invite co-workers to fish with you without getting sued for harassment. There are no fishing-transmitted diseases. If you want to watch fishing on television, you don't have to subscribe to the Playboy channel. Nobody expects you to fish with the same partner for the rest of your life. Your fishing partner will never say, "Not again? We just fished last week! Is fishing all you ever think about? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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