Taco Posted July 24, 2007 Posted July 24, 2007 A skydiver bails outta a plane, when he pulls the rip cord his main chute won't open. Not panickin' he tries his reserve chute... it won't open. Still not panickin' but damn good and nervous wonderin' what the hell he's gonna do when he glances over and happens to see a guy headed the other way at about the same speed. The skydiver hollers at the guy "HEY, YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT @#*&%$&*^ PARACHUTES??" The guy hollers back "NO.....YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT @#*&%$&*^ GAS BARBECUES???" Quote
Taco Posted July 24, 2007 Author Posted July 24, 2007 Couple more...... A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One day, his supply of the birds ran out so he had to go out and trap some more. On the way back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. Afraid to wake them, he gingerly stepped over them. He was immediately arrested and charged with transporting gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises. A skeptical anthropologist was cataloging South American folk remedies with the assistance of a tribal brujo who indicated that the leaves of a particular fern were a sure cure for any case of constipation. When the anthropologist expressed his doubts, the brujo looked him in the eye and said, "Let me tell you, with fronds like these, who needs enemas?" Quote
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