Taco Posted March 30, 2008 Share Posted March 30, 2008 1. Can you cry underwater? 2. Why do you have to "put your two cents in" ... but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to? 3. What disease did cured ham actually have? 4. If a deaf person has to go to court, it is still called a hearing? 5. Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural? 6. Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway. 7. If the "Professor" on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in the boat? 8. Do the "Alphabet Song" and "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" have the same tune? 9. Why did you just try singing the two songs above? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneMoreLastCast Posted March 30, 2008 Share Posted March 30, 2008 "If Practice makes perfect", but "Nobody's Perfect"....Why Bother? How, when I wear shoes and socks all day, do I still get dirt between my toes? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ausnuck Posted March 30, 2008 Share Posted March 30, 2008 Because I have cabin fever, and I'm avoiding the things I should be doing, I will attempt to answer the questions above 1. Yes, you can cry underwater. Just try doing a fish count in the Vedder River (Lower Mainland BC) when the steelhead are running. 500 hooks for every 2 fish unlucky enough to make the Vedder their spawning grounds. 2. When you put your 2 cents in, you are offering an opinion. A thought will cost the listener 1 cent. Therefore, an opinion is worth double that of a thought, even though less effort is required. 3. Death. A ham is a dead pig cured! 4. Only if the lawyer is listening. 5. Simple, 1 rack, 2 butt cheeks 6. What would you rather see, someone field dressing a cow, or the steaks in their little styrofoam plates? 7. The professor had a PhD in electronics engineering, he was not a shipwright. 8. Riddle me this, have you ever heard a bunch of 6 year olds sing? Would you say they were all in key? 9. I didn't, I was practicing my elk bugling for fall. This nonsense has been brought to you by someone who could be out fishing, but should be painting the house... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ham Posted March 30, 2008 Share Posted March 30, 2008 3. What disease did cured ham actually have? It didnt Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
birchy Posted March 30, 2008 Share Posted March 30, 2008 Why isn't there mouse flavored cat food? Why is it that if it goes by ship, it's called cargo. But if it goes my car, it's called a shipment? When signmakers go on strike, who makes their signs? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tako Posted March 31, 2008 Share Posted March 31, 2008 Because I have cabin fever, and I'm avoiding the things I should be doing, I will attempt to answer the questions above 1. Yes, you can cry underwater. Just try doing a fish count in the Vedder River (Lower Mainland BC) when the steelhead are running. 500 hooks for every 2 fish unlucky enough to make the Vedder their spawning grounds. 2. When you put your 2 cents in, you are offering an opinion. A thought will cost the listener 1 cent. Therefore, an opinion is worth double that of a thought, even though less effort is required. 3. Death. A ham is a dead pig cured! 4. Only if the lawyer is listening. 5. Simple, 1 rack, 2 butt cheeks 6. What would you rather see, someone field dressing a cow, or the steaks in their little styrofoam plates? 7. The professor had a PhD in electronics engineering, he was not a shipwright. 8. Riddle me this, have you ever heard a bunch of 6 year olds sing? Would you say they were all in key? 9. I didn't, I was practicing my elk bugling for fall. This nonsense has been brought to you by someone who could be out fishing, but should be painting the house... Don't waste your time. We tried the Willow today and she was wall to wall ice, essentially. We did fish some decent water, but the fish are still in the deep deep deep holes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teck71 Posted March 31, 2008 Share Posted March 31, 2008 While we are asking Questions, I've always wondered 1. If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn. 2. Why is "abbreviation" such a long word 3. If you have a circular drive way, how do you get out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
birchy Posted March 31, 2008 Share Posted March 31, 2008 Who was the a-hole that put the S in lisp?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maxwell Posted March 31, 2008 Share Posted March 31, 2008 lmao more classics! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weedy1 Posted April 1, 2008 Share Posted April 1, 2008 7. If the "Professor" on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in the boat? Because he was doing Mary Jane. http://www.tmz.com/2008/03/11/mary-ann-bus...with-mary-jane/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taco Posted April 1, 2008 Author Share Posted April 1, 2008 More Questions That Must Be Answered 1. Once you're in Heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? 2. How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? 3. How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? 4. Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON t.v.? 5. Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? 6. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane? 7. Why is it that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you; but when you take him for car ride, he sticks his head out the window? 8. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? 9. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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