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A man was stopped by a game-warden in BC recently with two buckets of fish leaving a lake well known for its fishing.

The CO asked the man, "Do you have a license to catch those fish?"

The man replied to the officer, "No, sir. These are my pet fish."

"Pet fish?!" the CO replied.

"Yes, sir. Every night I take these here fish down to the lake and let them swim around for a while. I whistle and they jump back into their buckets, and I take em home."

"That's a bunch of BS! Fish can't do that!"

The man looked at the officer for a moment, and then said, "Here, I'll show you. It really works."

"O.K. I've GOT to see this!" The warden was curious.

The man poured the fish into the river and stood and waited. After several minutes, the game warden turned to the man and said, "Well?"

"Well, what?" the man responded.

"When are you going to call them back?" the CO prompted.

"Call who back?" the man asked.

"The FISH"

"What fish?" the man asked.

 

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Sam and Becky are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary.

Sam says to Becky, "Becky, I was wondering...have you ever cheated on me?"

Becky replies, "Oh Sam, why would you ask such a question now? You don't

want to ask that question..."

Yes, Becky, I really want to know. Please..."

"Well, all right. Yes, 3 times..."

"Three? Well, when were they?" he asked.

"Well, Sam, remember when you were 35 years old and you really wanted to start your own business and no bank would give you a loan? Remember, then one day the bank president himself came over to the house and signed the loan papers, no questions asked?"

"Oh, Becky, you did that for me! I respect you even more than ever, to do such a thing for me. So, when was number 2?"

"Well, Sam, remember when you had that last heart attack and you were needing that very tricky operation, and no surgeon would touch you? Then remember how Dr. DeBakey came all the way up here, to do the surgery himself, and then you were in good shape again?"

"I can't believe it! Becky, you should do such a thing for me, to save my life. I couldn't have a more wonderful wife. To do such a thing, you must really love me, Darling. I couldn't be more moved. So, all right then, when was number 3?"

"Well, Sam, remember a few years ago, when you really wanted to be president

of the golf club and you were 17 votes short..?"

 

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Hear about the fish cop and the farmboy who went fishing one day? They jump in a boat and motor out to the middle of the lake and toss out the anchor. The farmboy reaches into his tackle box pulls out a stick of dynamite, lights the fuse and throws it into the lake. The fish cop gets all pissed off and tells the farmboy he'll hafta arrest him for poachin'. Farmboy doesn't say much, just reaches into his tackle box, pulls out another stick, lights it and then tosses it into the fish cop's lap. The fish cop sits there with his mouth hangin' open when the farmboy remarks "You goin' fishin or what??"

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