New Stock Market Terms

[Riverview]

NEW STOCK MARKET TERMS

 

CEO --Chief Embezzlement Officer.

 

CFO-- Corporate Fraud Officer.

 

BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

 

BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.

 

VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.

 

P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.

 

BROKER -- What my broker has made me.

 

STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.

 

STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

 

STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.

 

FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.

 

MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.

 

CASH FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

 

YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.

 

WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.

 

INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.

 

PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use.

[Guest 420FLYFISHIN]

i LOVE this. Being only 24 i have never really had a good time or reason to get into the game. I plugged 1500 in on Friday and with the market going even further down i can start putting more and more in. When this thing rights its self in a few months or years i might actually have enough for a down payment on a house.