The Husband Store

[Guest Sundancefisher]

The Husband Store:

 

A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband.

Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

1. You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the product increase as the shopper ascends the flights.

2. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

 

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.

 

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 -

These men Have Jobs.

 

 

The second floor sign reads:

 

 

Floor 2

- These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

 

The third floor sign reads:

 

 

Floor 3

- These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

 

She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4

- These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework

 

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

 

Floor 5

- These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and have a Strong Romantic Streak.

 

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes on to the sixth floor and the sign reads:

 

 

Floor 6

- You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

 

To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner also opened a

New Wives store just across the street.

T he first floor has wives that love sex.

The second floor has wives that love sex and have money.

The third through sixth floors have never been visited

[Guest Sundancefisher]

A woman went up to the bar in a quiet rural pub.

 

She gestured alluringly to the bartender who approached her

immediately. She seductively signaled that he should bring his face

closer to hers.

As he did, she gently caressed his full beard.

'Are you the manager?' she asked, softly stroking his face with both

hands.

 

'Actually, no,' he replied.

'Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him,' she said, running

her hands beyond his beard and into his hair.

 

'I'm afraid I can't,' breathed the bartender.. 'Is there anything I

can do?'

'Yes. I need for you to give him a message,' she continued, running

her forefinger across the bartender's lip and slyly popping a couple

of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.

 

'What should I tell him?' the bartender managed to say.

 

'Tell him,' she whispered, 'There's no toilet paper, hand soap, or

paper towels in the ladies room.'

[maxwell]

r u jstu coppying the jokes from lastweek dude..little too early too recycle this one i think

[Guest Sundancefisher]

r u jstu coppying the jokes from lastweek dude..little too early too recycle this one i think

 

ops ...missed that one.

 

Sorry

[ham]

hahaha did you not read last weeks posts?

[Weedy1]

I can't wait until all you young punks hit your 70's and can't remember where you left the toilet paper.

[maxwell]

LMAO!!! im sorry....is that better weedy

[Weedy1]

You're forgiven Max, this time only though.

[Guest Sundancefisher]

I can't wait until all you young punks hit your 70's and can't remember where you left the toilet paper.

 

LOL...

 

I am feeling pretty much there already most days... Funny though the wife forgets everything except what she just told me to do. That I seem to forget quicker than posts.