The Cod Tattoo

[SteveM]

Hey, all!

Reading an earlier thread about tattoos inspired me to compose this tale about a proud Newfie who gets a tattoo, but

ends up regretting it.

A couple notes:

1-"haddock" - an Atlantic fish , similar to a cod

2-"Jarge" - a common Newfie name, sometimes mispronounced as "George"

3-to my fellow Newfs: where you see the word "minnow", feel free to replace it with "capelin"; I felt "minnow" would

conjure up the picture of something exceedingly small for the rest of the readers.

Now that you're up to speed, read on:

 

-THE COD TATTOO-

 

He had a codfish tattoed on his backside;

Or, it might have been a haddock, I don't know.

I saw it once, the night Jarge got arrested;

But, to tell the truth, I didn't get too close.

 

He said he got that cod when he moved to Fort McMurray,

But, he couldn't quite recall how it came to pass.

He was at the bar, missing home and drinking,

And he woke up in the morning with a codfish on his ass!

 

He said,"I hate this town! Can't stand it here!"

Then he pulled down his pants and his underwear;

And he stood on the bar, and he yelled out loud,

Saying," I'm a Newfoundlander, and I'm proud...

Of my cod tattoo!"

 

Well, the cops came and they took Jarge to the courthouse.

He never thought that charge would ever stand.

He told the cops, "You're wasting all our time here;

'Cuz that judge is a Newfie, and I know he'll understand!"

 

So, he dropped his pants, and he showed the judge his codfish;

The judge said,"Son, I'm givin' you 3 months!

There's nothing wrong with showin' off your codfish;

But, ya gotta cover up that 'minnow' in the front!"

 

He said,"I hate it here; can't stand this jail!"

Then he showed everyone the codfish on his tail;

And, that's a big mistake...in prison life-

Now, Jarge's cellmate has a brand new 'wife'...

With a cod tattoo!

 

He made it through his sentence, but, he's never been the same.

Now, underneath his cod tattoo, he has his cellmate's name.

And, he'd like to get that thing removed, but he can't afford the charge;

So, now he has a cod tattoo that reads, "BIG JAKE LOVES JARGE"!

 

He said, "I hate this thing; wish it would go away!

But it's right there, behind me, everyday!

If I could go back, I would change the past;

Then I wouldn't have this codfish on my ass...

This stupid cod tattoo...

I HATE THIS COD TATTOO!"

 

-THE END-

 

P.S.

Any resemblance to the song 'Blue Wing' is purely intentional.

Later,

Steve

[Brownstone]

2 days b'fer christmas and yer talkin bout 'ome and fish and caplin .. jeez steve whacha tryin' a do b'y .. kill I ?

[SteveM]

2 days b'fer christmas and yer talkin bout 'ome and fish and caplin .. jeez steve whacha tryin' a do b'y .. kill I ?

 

Sorry for makin' ya homesick, me son; why don'tcha go get a cod tattoo to cheer yerself up?

[Rick]

Good job there BabLablaw. I don't imagine I'll ever hear Tom Russel and Dave Alvin singing it, except in my head. Rick.